Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor and I have been best friends since 8th grade. Fiance and I have been together for 3 years and 5 months and just got engaged this past October. Since the engagement my Maid/Matron of Honor has been very distant and unavailable. She barely answers my phone calls and constantly blows off plans with me. I have no idea what is going on but when we do speak she makes these very strange comments. For example…. “wow I really hope you want to get married” after hearing about our wedding deposits, “I feel like you are to tall for a mermaid dress” AFTER i purchased it and she saw the pics online, “how do you handle your mom??? that would drive me crazy” after running into my mom who is obviously excited for her only daughters wedding.
We had plans today to go decide between 2 bridesmaid dresses I picked out. I could have asked anybody but I have not seen her once since our engagement and that is not normal for us… i really miss her. She never showed. She started dating a guy about 5 months ago who I have never met but I guess she is moving in with him today. I wish she could have told me because I was planning on finalizing the dresses for all of them today but she never even replied after saying she was moving. I am just so hurt. I honestly will always remember how she has made me feel….like she could care less.
Most people would say to just ask her whats going on, but she is very dramatic and I know it would turn into a huge problem. Besides all of this she made a weird comment when we talked last to plan our meet up today: “don’t be upset if I get married before you” then started laughing in a mocking way (i could hear her sister in the car start laughing too). Why would I be upset? We are both in our late 20’s and able to make mature, responsible decisions. If she knows he is the one then I would be happy for her.
Maybe I’m expecting to much of her? I thought maybe another bee would have some advice based off a personal experience as well. I’m thinking I will just let it go like all of the other things that have happened because in the end its not worth bringing up or causing any more hurt feelings.
Post # 3
Honestly, it sounds like maybe she is jealous or just moving away from your relationship. When was the last time that you two had a real conversation or spent time together? I know that I have changed a lot since high school and I have a hard time connecting with some of my older friends. From your comments, I would consider stepping away from her as a friend, she doesn’t seem like a good friend anymore with all those horrible comments.
Post # 4
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: Thats what another bridemaid pretty much said. Before the engagement we talked and hung out almost every week. It might have been just to grab dinner but we always made time for each other. It is honestly like she is not happy for us at all which makes no sense? My Fiance and her are friends and she goes boating with us every summer. Thats the whole part that is very sad and frustraiting. I think ultimately I am going to step back and move on for now.
Post # 5
Sounds like there’s definitely some animosity there. I of course only know what you’re telling me, but there’s always 2 sides to every story. Do you talk about the wedding non stop? Have you put a lot of demands on her? Do you make a point to ask how she’s doing? Does she dislike your fiance for some reason?
There is of course NO excuse for rude behavior/comments, I’m just throwing some possibly ideas out there as to what could be happening. Sometimes wedding planning can put a bride into somewhat of a bubble. She might be going through something of her own, you never know. Regardless of what it is, it doesn’t excuse her being rude or blowing off plans with you.
Maybe call her up and ask for for a non-wedding related lunch and hear her out. Be honest about how she’s hurt you and be willing to listen to her as well. It would be silly to throw away years of great friendship over a couple lousy months, you know?
Post # 6
@KatyElle: Thanks for the advice. I really sat back and thought of every reason possible for what could be going on. I don’t talk about the wedding very often with her because to be honest it feels awkward with how weird she acts. I was thinking today that maybe it’s because a guy she was with for 8 years got married during the month we got engaged? They had been broken up for a few years though…but I know she mentioned at one point in October. Her and Fiance get along fine…. she used to sleep over at our condo all the time.