(Closed) Bees… Help please! am I overreacting?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

yikes. It’s not the nd of the world but ya I would work on making myself ok with going(be the bigger person) but have a serious talk with your guy and tell him how you feel about the situation and that you dont want to have to be put on the spot ever again, just as he wouldn’t.

Post # 5
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would also be upset, so no I don’t think you’re overreacting. I doubt that either of you truly want to be apart that weekend, but it sounds like it’s important to you that you set a clear boundary for the future. I would be sure to say something to the effect of, “Babe, I felt really surprised and upset when you made these plans with your parents on our behalf because I was really looking forward to our plans with our friends. In the future it is really important to me that we check in with each other first before committing to trips. Can we agree on that?” (unless you’ve already said this already).

Post # 6
Member
3099 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Not going to prove a point will do just that. But the point would be that you are spiteful. Talk to him about this and try to get him to see where you’re coming from. I’d totally be annoyed and I think there needs to be a bigger discussion about treating each other respectfully. 

Post # 8
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@wildflowerbee:  I had to stop reading due to shock when I read that honeymoon thing… Ok bottom line this is the rest of your life. if he doesn’t put his parents in check now he never will, can you live with that? I wouldn’t go on the trip, go with your friends sans him have a good time and yes you might be a little moody but I think a point needs to be made that you don’t revolve around him and his parents. I think you both need to talk without his parents ability to interupt and take another look at the relationship you both want with them (not saying cut them out of your lives, just saying they seem to think they can be super invasive right now)

Post # 10
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@wildflowerbee:  I think that you need to address this before he moves out, you don;t want to be wasting your time if it is something you can’t live with and something he can’t correct. If this is a big change for him it might not happen, bottom line you 2 need to find someplace to talk and a heart to heart on this is due.

Post # 12
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

So I was getting the impression this was more a he hasn’t told his parents to back off thing, but if that is not the case then I ‘m with you in hoping that they learn to back off once he moves out, but if they don’t be prepared to face the music

Post # 14
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sounds as though you’ve worked things out with him with some heart to hearts.  

One thing I’d like to suggest, and this is something Darling Husband and I always do. Whenever anyone invites us to do something and we aren’t together when the invitation is given, I always say it sounds like fun, but I have to check with Darling Husband to make sure he hasn’t made any plans for us first, and he does the same.  

It helps in a few ways, first it includes both people in the process and there are no surprises either way, second it gives us an out if we don’t really want to do what we’ve been invited to do, and third it ensures that we aren’t double booked per se. 

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