(Closed) Am I overreacting? (political affiliations – NOT a trigger post)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Have you ever described yourself as a person who believes in “opposite” party’s beliefs and candidates? If not, how would FMIL even know who you voted for or your political beliefs? So you must have told her you believe in “opposite” party.

In this age, many people feel like their political affiliation describes them well and are very public about it, so they probably don’t realize that other people are private about these things. I’m not just talking about social media or bumper stickers…I think this once taboo conversation topic is no longer seen as such a taboo. I have seen people who just met start talking about politics and what party they are a part of.

I think being private about political affiliation puts someone in the minority. So if you tell someone you believe in “opposite” party’s platform, then they’ll likely think you are an “opposite” and describe you that way to others if they are the type of people who describe themselves with their political affiliation. If they are open about their own political beliefs, they probably don’t realize that you want to keep this private.

If you don’t want people to have the ability to describe you as belonging to a certain political party, then don’t talk about politics in the first place. Or tell them what you think but add that you’re private about politics and would prefer to keep this information between the two of you.

I’m sure your Future Mother-In-Law didn’t mean anything bad and that it just slipped out, but talk to her about it because it seems like this bothers you.

Post # 3
5948 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

bluebee19 :  It’s too late, but I just think politics shouldn’t be discussed in certain circles. Especially this particular election. I’m so proud of my department, no one has brought it up once!

I don’t think she should’ve brought your name up. If you want to discuss it, you will. We were recently with family and they were going off on one of the candidates (my candidate) and I just listened. They are obviously dead set in their beliefs so they just bantered back and forth.

Post # 4
11482 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Have you talked with her about how you feel? Some people are very private about their choice of candidates. That’s why voting booths are private, so that no one would ever know how someone votes unless he or she would decide to tell others. However, most people these days seem willing to shout from the rooftops (or via yard signs, bumper stickers, buttons, Twitter or FB) how they feel about particular canditates and issues. Your Mother-In-Law sounds like the latter type of person, and she may not understand your desire for privacy regarding your stance on issues and candidates. You may need to explain this to her and make a specific request of her that she refrain in the future from making any presumptions about your views on political issues. You may not receive the apology you’re hoping for unless you make clear to her how you feel about this.

Post # 6
3961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

bluebee19 :  Ugh.  My family is just like this (I’m opposite of them) so I know what you mean.  I would try not to talk about it around them (usually I just say “I don’t really like to talk about politics” and attempt to change the subject).  Fiance is even more opposite my family than I am and he just smiles and nods when they get into it.  If you and your Fiance handle political disagreement well, then I don’t see anything wrong with it, but his family will likely always be this way.  My family always says they don’t like talking about politics, but it comes up CONSTANTLY and they can be very aggressive about their beliefs.  I mostly don’t bother discussing it with them because I know I’ll never change their minds and it’s not worth the grief of being “opposite” even though they know where I stand.

Post # 8
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My parents are opposite of my siblings & myself. In- laws are on my side of things but take it too far. I’m just not commenting too much. Would never post anything on social media (that’s for people who don’t have careers. Lol) 

This election is difficult. I’ve voted in the last 5 presidential elections & have never experienced this much tension.

Post # 9
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Im sorry that happenned to you. It never feels good to be ganged up on.

I would take some space like you intend to and then have a light hearted conversation with her about how you dont want people knowing who you’re voting for and that you felt like everyone was hounding you the other day and it sucked.

From what it sounds like, you two have an otherwise good relationship and i think she will understand.

Post # 10
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

bluebee19 :  politics and family can get ugly.

i do, however, question how anyone could vote for Trump, so I would totally ask if a person was very open about supporting him.

Post # 11
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

bluebee19 :  That would annoy the shit out of me too. I also don’t agree with my inlaws on a lot of political stuff but we really avoid the topic haha. 

I would just give some time and bring it up to her saying hey i felt ganged up on and would appreciate it if you left me out of any political conversations. Hopefully she has enough respect for you to leave it at that. 


Post # 12
205 posts
Helper bee

I am in a similar situation, but the only people that know my views are my husband, his brother and his brother’s fiance. The rest of the family are clueless. I just keep my mouth shut during politics discussion. I just know that I can’t change their minds, and I am just FUMING inside when they talk about how horrible one candidate is, and I don’t think either candidate is great. Technically, I’m leaning to 3rd party voting, but my husband doesn’t even know that. I’ll get a whole nother lecture about how wasteful a 3rd party vote is.

This has definitely been the most intense election year. It’s unfortunate that some people ARE cutting ties with family and friends based on who they support this year.

Post # 13
3961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

bluebee19 :  Yeah, honestly that would bother me too if I was called out when I was just trying to mind my own business.  Is she usually malicious toward you?

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