(Closed) Am I reacting too harshly

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Am I being too hars?

    Yes, they probably didn't realize they weren't given a guest

    No, everyone knows that if it doesn't say "and guest" you don't get to bring one

  • Post # 22
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee

    People’s idea of what is acceptable at weddings just depends on their wedding knowledge/family etiquette practices/customs.  You say that one of your cousins planned a wedding before, but what kind of wedding was it?  Was it formal or informal, catered or not? She may not realize that what she’s doing is wrong because maybe she allowed it at hers. I know that relatives of mine who have gotten married in the past have invited everyone and their brother, just because they feel like that is what you should have to do. One time, my second cousin was marrying in NY and we went up to the wedding.  It was me, my father, his gf, my aunt, uncle, their three sons, aunt’s sister (who’d never met my second cousin), her son, and my dad’s random bum friend.  Luckily, the bride and groom had ordered plenty of catering!  They were more than thrilled to have us there, though.

    I, on the other hand, am freaking out because I do NOT want this to happen at my wedding.  I cannot afford it.  My step-cousin is getting married in September, and because our family has a history of just leaving invitations open to the whole world, she just got an RSVP back for “6” people, when she’d only intended on inviting two people from that household!  I know I am going to have to blantantly include on the invites that +1s will be turned away at the door.

    Post # 24
    773 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    @Laurarocks501:Yeah that’s the reason I didn’t go to one of my best friend’s wedding.  It was in FL (we both live in Boston) and she wasn’t letting me bring a plus 1.  My thought was I’m spending more on flying there and a hotel than you would spend for my guest.  With that, I’m not coming.  One of the reasons why I’m pretty firm on allowing people to bring people.   I was pretty offended.

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