(Closed) Am I reading too much into this?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Did you say anything to her in response to this? I would tell your husband and then I would talk to your Mother-In-Law. If she’s never been rude before, you could probably just sit down with her and say ‘I’m not sure why you said this, but it really hurt my feelings. I put a lot of hard work into that and I feel like you were trying to hurt me.’

If she’s normally a nice person, she should understand. She is human after all!

Post # 3
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It sounds like she was upset that she wasn’t asked to cook or otherwise put in charge of the food. Was it a special occasion that she is usually in charge of? Was she the one that asked you to cook or was it someone else?

Regardless of what hurt feelings she had leading up to her comments, that was still a petty and cruel way to handle the situation.  I’m sorry.  I don’t know the best way to handle her but I think it’s worth talking to her about it and letting her know your feelings were hurt.

Post # 4
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I agree with the poster who mentioned your Mother-In-Law possibly being upset that she wasn’t asked to prepare the meal herself. I remember when my first husband and I were married years ago I was a starry-eyed young thing who decided I was going to host Thanksgiving dinner for BOTH families and show off my Susie Homemaker skills and prove my worth as a grown-up wife, and even though it turned out beautifully my then Mother-In-Law was kinda  pissy toward me because she saw me getting all the holiday accolades that she was used to getting. Maybe your own Mother-In-Law was trying to have a pissing contest with you out of jealousy. 

Post # 5
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
HoneyBee663:  Personally, I wouldn’t say anything to her regarding this one isolated incident. Maybe she was feeling cranky, or was in fact, jealous you were getting all this attention from cooking the meal instead of her. 

If it happens again, then yes, I’d bring it up to her (or have your husband do it – I’m a big believer in he deals with his family and you deal with yours). 

Post # 6
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My Mother-In-Law has an ego about cooking the size of North America. If you happen to compliment anyone else on their cooking in front of Mother-In-Law she’ll roll her eyes and make some snide comment about her own cooking being better or healthier or “from scratch” unlike others. She’s otherwise a fairly nice person but no one can compare to her in cooking in her eyes. DH was sick a few weeks ago and I made him home made chicken soup. Mother-In-Law caught wind of this and made soup also and kept insisting DH come over and eat it because “it will cure any cold you have”. Even after DH explained that I made him soup she said “yeah, but it’s not MY SOUP. MY soup will cure your cold. MY soup is the best you’ll ever have”. Then she made some snide comment about how DH looks skinnier since getting married (meaning I don’t feed him well enough) and Dh said “I’ve actually gained 5 pounds” and Mother-In-Law looks at me and goes “Oh so you’re feeding him crap and making him fat”. It’s literally a lose-lose with her and I have to just ignore it.

His birthday is on wednesday and I plan to make his favorite meal: Slovak Halupki. I know once she hears that, I’ll have to deal with her wrath. Oh well.

Post # 9
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
HoneyBee663:  Well, then it IS a pattern if she did it to your SIL too. It seems to me that it relates to cooking – perhaps she feels like you two are taking over the “matriarch” role which she sees as her role. How about next time you are asked to cook – you cook WITH her? Maybe you can all cook the meal together. 

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