Am i ready for a baby??

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

As someone who is now pregnant and went to grad school in my early to mid 20s, if anything else, wait until you graduate.

It will be very hard to work and take classes, or just to be able to do your projects on time. That alone is the major factor to wait. Also, the field of psychology seems like it would definitely need some on the job experience, so I would wait to become somewhat established in your career before you throw pregnancy and babies in the mix.

I do think your husband also should be more settled in his job. I will go slightly against the typical weddingbee grain and say it’s not extremely necessary to have some large sum of $ in the bank to start TTC. Some careers just don’t ever make that much, and to be completely honest, my husband has chosen that type of career path. He is a very hard worker, but it’s a known thing it will never be a big money maker. If we set a goal amount of $ to be in the bank, well we would just never have kids.

We have stable careers and can definitely make it work, but financial goals don’t look the same for everyone across the board.

Just some things to keep in mind! And 28 to early 30s is a great time to start having kids! : ) good luck.

Post # 18
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

People often say if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never have kids! Haha I agree wth this. for me, I got a BAD case of baby fever, and I just knew I wanted a baby. I originally wanted to wait 3-5 years to have a baby (after getting married), but we ended up getting pregnant after less than 2 years. Then when my son turned 2, we got pregnant with our daughter. There are a lot of things to consider. Fertility peaks at 25 for women (and rapidly declines after 35), you have to consider finances, if you and your hubby are in a good place in your relationship, etc. There’s no right answer. I say just go in the way of what feels more peaceful. But as you get into your 30s, just know that it can statistically become harder to get pregnant, so my advice is to not wait TOO long. But def take some time to enjoy yourselves while it’s just the two of you!

Post # 19
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
greeneyedbee :  also, I finished my masters degree online after my kids were born. Like, a couple years after…I don’t recommend doing it in the sleep-deprived newborn phase lol. That was hard…

Post # 20
Member
8748 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
Danisa :  I’m of the opinion that if you have to ask…

We both really wanted a baby and we were financially ready for one. There is no perfect time – you have to trust your gut.

Post # 21
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I have several friends who were planning on going to grad school (one cannot even get a job without her grad degree), decided to have babies first and guess what, none of them have went back yet. Two are stay at home moms now. Nothing wrong with that, my mom also stayed at home, but the point is if you value your career & have ambitions I would hold off. You are only around 25 or so, right? Examine your reasoning for wanting a baby right now. Is it baby fever, family pressure…? I honestly feel like so many people want a baby because BABY FEVER and I’m not sure that’s the best reason to bring another human in the world.

Post # 22
Member
657 posts
Busy bee

I am sure if you want you could do grad school and a baby. I mean I know of a guy that was in my major as well getting his undergrad while his wife was pregnant getting her graduate degree. It is harder but not impossible. 

But patience in waiting just means things would be a heck of a lot easier when you are done with graduate school. It is up to you and I am sure happiness would ensue regardless of your choice. 

Post # 23
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

As someone who had a baby in college and a toddler in grad school, if you can wait, wait. It’s extremely difficult balancing school, home life, and a new baby. You’re still young and have plenty of time. Save up money, graduate from school and re-evaluate. That’s my 2 cents. 

Post # 24
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Going to school for a bachelor’s degree and being single for most of it was hard enough. I wouldn’t ever want to have a baby during my college years but to each their own. Darling Husband and I already feel as ready as we’ll ever be but we are waiting until we buy our own home.  It’s popular opinion that “you’ll never be ready” but we are not okay cramming into a 1 br apt when we can wait a little longer and be in our own home so baby can have their own room. FWIW neither Darling Husband or myself ever had the idea to have a kid until we were financially stable, married, and owned our home.  We only have the house left to achieve. I’d say do what feels right to you and be on the same page as your partner. 

Post # 25
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - City, State

View original reply
Danisa :  I’m in my mid 20s and baby will be due in June this year (I’ll be finish with grad school in July too). Our finances is not 100% of what we want, but we are so over the moon with our baby & we think we can handle this.

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