(Closed) Am I ready

posted 4 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Did you feel 100% " ready" when you got pregnant?
    Yes : (8 votes)
    44 %
    No : (10 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3008 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Mrs.Huffman:  I felt financially, emotionally, mentally, logistically ready. Or as mentally ready as possible- parenthood has been much harder than I anticipated (but at the same time even better, too). However, I was also 32 years old. I was not ready in my 20s.

    Post # 3
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m 35 and still don’t feel ready however we are TTC anyway as we’re running out of time if we want to have two children. 

    You are young enough that you don’t have to worry about this right now. Enjoy life,  grow, and see how you feel in a few years. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1387 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Not ready and I’m 30. I did have crazy baby fever between 28-29, but it went away.

    Right now we enjoy our freedom, the ability to travel on a whim, etc. In time I’m sure that will wane. We are going to wait until we feel 100% ready and if that doesn’t happen until it’s too late we’re open to adoption.

    Most of my friends were 32+ when they had their first child. So I don’t feel rushed. It just depends on what you want. We did think we were pregnant earlier this year and were excited and if an oops happened we’d be happy, but we are not actively trying to conceive. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee

    No kids yet, but TTC. Darling Husband and I are financially stable, I’m 25 and he’s 35, we own a great home, and want our first kid ASAP. But I don’t think anyone is ever truly ready, because there is so much unknown with your first kid. I think we’re as ready as we’ll ever be. Once I get a sticky pregnancy, we’ll just take each surprise as it comes 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    33 here. I think I’m ready. We have a timeline of when we’re going to start trying but the things holding me back are worries like will I be a good mother, will we be good parents, will our child be happy and healthy, will our lives change so much it’ll be unrecognizable?

    Post # 7
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I was 25 when I had my first (now 32 with 2 kids). In retrospect, my advice is that as soon as you can acknowledge that you are not ready, then you are ready. If you get what I mean? In sentiment to your family, you will never be ready, but you can certainly make it work! Just like with entering the workforce, you may feel ready by having had formal education, but there is a lot of learning on the job, and compromises to make on the way. Same as children!

    Post # 9
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee

    Do you guys have an emergency fund going?

    I think financial experts say you should have something like 6+ months of living expenses in an emergency fund incase one of you looses your job(enough to cover all of your bills for that period). My dad went through a rough unemployment period and ever since has started prepaying the mortages/utilities to the point where he had prepayed a year of the mortgage, a couple months of utilities, and had about 6 months of living expenses in a savings account. 

    If your worried about money, maybe give that a try? It gives you guys a great security blanket incase one of you loses a job/unexpected medical bills/etc

    Post # 10
    Member
    3755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Having kids is no joke!! I am 35 and pregnant with my second. You have plenty of time!! Enjoy the freedom, having kids changes everything. It’s awesome, but it’s very different. I’m glad I waited as long as I did. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Mrs.Huffman:  Nope, that doesn’t sound crazy. Then again I’m also 25 and Darling Husband is 30 and we have the same thoughts. I have a deadline too and want to be done at 32 because that’s when my mother had me and I’m the youngest. Plus a family experience really cemented that line in the sand at a young age for me. My aunt conceived her children in her mid to late 30’s and was able to have two children after a MC where the fetus was growing without a head. I know that can happen at any age but for me personally it’s why I drew the line in the sand for 32. If it still happens to me or something similar even before 32 than so be it. Also, I’m NOT saying that for those in their mid to late 30’s that it will happen either, so please don’t think that’s what I’m insinuating because I know healthy babies are born everyday to women of all ages. I’m just saying what I experienced of everyone crying and freaking out as we got the news on the phone, and my mother rushing off to the hospital stuck with me. It was enough to make me feel that 32 was it but if I didn’t feel ready I obviously wouldn’t stick with 32. There has to be a sense of readiness AND determination/will power to pull the trigger so to speak. The experience my aunt had and what that meant for my family was enough to make me feel that 32 was the cut off, at least for me that is. We also come from small family so my aunt’s children were the only cousins I essentially grew up with and the only pregnancy experience in the family so it’s partly why I feel the way I do. 

    Anyways, there’s always going to be uncertainty though. You could lose your job when your 30 or 40 so that’s something that can happen at anytime. Of course if you speculate that there may be job cuts looming then yes I would say hold off. But if it’s just in the back of your mind then I wouldn’t worry. We went back and forth on this “ready” business for a while and we realized we are ready when you can’t get it out of your head. Of course I have days where I think wow it’s great I can sleep in or it’s great I can just lounge and binge watch t.v. but at the end of the day I think life is bigger than that. Life is about moments and who better to share moments with than your family. If you feel that YOUR clock is ticking then I wouldn’t put it off because I have the same feeling of my clock is ticking/running out. You can only do what’s right for you so yes you can absolutely be ready at 20 or 25 or 35 or even 45. There are perks having children in your 20’s vs your 30’s just as there are downsides of having children in your 20’s vs the 30’s. It’s an individual thing and only you can tell for yourself. Sure you will lose aspects of freedom but who knows what other joys you could lose by not taking the plunge. 

    Anyways, that’s just my two cents. 

    Edit: Sorry for the story but honestly do what’s best for you and DH! 🙂

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  MiaBella03.
    Post # 12
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2016 - 1950s themed bar

    Mrs.Huffman:  The beauty of timelines is that you can always change them! You may have thought if you didn’t have kids by 30 then you’ll never have kids, but it sounds like you want them at some point, and that might be after you are 30. 

    If you found out you were pregnant today, what would you do? How would you feel? 

    I think people get waaay too stressed about having kids – yes, they are a huge commitment but people can adapt to anything and I’m sure you’ll love things about parenthood that outweigh the reduced freedom. Do you actually do spontaneous trips or is it the idea that you won’t be able to that bothers you? 

    Talk to your parent friends. Ask them to tell you honestly if they think you’re ready and also how they feel about parenthood. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    9818 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Mrs.Huffman:  Why do you have to be done by 30 or none at all?  I mean I get not wanting to be a first time mom at 36 or 37 but having the first at 30 is very different from the first at 37 or 38.  You don’t need to do it if you’re not ready.  Have one at 28. or 30. or 32.  The real drop off in fertility is in the late 30s, not below 35.  I’d say just change your timeline.

    Im pretty sure a lot of people never feel 100% ready but they’re financially ready and they want kids in the end so they just have to go for it.  25 is pretty young though, I see no issue with waiting 2-5 years.

    The topic ‘Am I ready’ is closed to new replies.

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