(Closed) Am I really being that unreasonable??

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

Your mother is getting crazy for sure! It’s your wedding, not hers, so don’t let her hijack it! 

Post # 4
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@missfenn:  Politely refuse the money and plan and pay for your own wedding. Money usually comes with strings as you are finding out.


Post # 5
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@missfenn:  If you’re old enough to get married, you are old enough to stand up to your mother.

Tell the aunt that your mother must have misunderstood and spoke inappropriately, Your bridal party is complete.

Tell your Mom that if their money comes with strings attached, you are going to decline nd pay for your own wedding.

Post # 6
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@missfenn:  Is your wedding date right? You’re getting married October *2015*? If so, tell your mom wedding planning is stressing you out and you’re waiting until this October to do anything else. Then start saving and refuse her money. 

Otherwise, maybe talk to your dad if he’s more reasonable. Explain that the family pressure is getting to you and making it really hard to enjoy wedding planning. Maybe you can find a way to involve your aunt in another way. Does she know your relationship with your mom is difficult? I had a bad relationship with my mom and I could see asking one of my aunts to spend the day steering her away from me! If you don’t think it would cause more drama, you could “confide in her” that you’re having trouble with your mom and get her to be on your side and be your champion. 

Post # 7
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Your mom is way overstepping here. It’s time to stand up to her. Let her know that you will not accept any money that comes with strings, and focus on planning the wedding you and your Fiance can afford.

Post # 8
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Your mom still sees you as a child and is micro-managing your wedding. You’re going to have to stand up to her. If they are paying for things, then those things should be discussed together but at the same time, you should push for what YOU want. It is YOUR wedding. As far as her telling other people that they are going to be involved in the wedding before speaking with you about it, or without regard to what you’ve already told her, that’s crossing a line and you need to put your foot down. I don’t care who’s paying, no one but the bride gets to pick who’s in her bridal party. 

Post # 9
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@missfenn:  I think as far as your parents are concerned the only thing they really have a say in is things they are paying for. Other than that, all they can do is offer their opinion, you can say yes or object and move on. You need to have a talk with your parent about this.

As a mother myself I know, when my girls get married, I plan to pay for all of their wedding however, they can have what they want to an extent. If they want something else they will have to pay for it themselves.

Post # 12
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@missfenn:  Ahh, I understand that. I too come from large families and my mom’s is very close. The first time I got married, I couldn’t have any of my friends as bridesmaids because my mom made me have all my stupid cousins. I had 10 by that point, I wasn’t adding any more. I was too stupid to realize that I could have told her to stop and I could have had things my way and and actually saved them a lot of money because I would have had the wedding I am about to have with my Fiance now.

I know it may be hard but you’re just going to have to talk to them and try to make them see things your way. Do you get along with your dad better? Maybe you can talk to him first and then have him help you talk to your mom.

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