(Closed) Am I right to be jealous/irritated?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: would you be mad?
    yes. NOT COOL. : (224 votes)
    90 %
    no, everyone flirts. it's ok for my fiance to hang out with girls. : (17 votes)
    7 %
    other... : (8 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6361 posts
    Bee Keeper

    As a bull.

    This sucks, I’m sorry you have to deal with it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7990 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Well, everyone’s relationship is different but I would NOT be cool with this. At the very least he should have told you about it. I’m guessing he knows you wouldn’t be okay with it since he didn’t tell you…

     

     

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    8469 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @bretonvirgniia:  *HUGS*  I think you’re totally justified in being angry here.  I understand that he should be able to hang out with other people, but this is just inappropriate.  Hopefully he will understand where you’re coming from and stop.  As for C, there’s not much you can do about her behavior, but she’s definitely crossing the line.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Well, I won’t comment on the snooping. You already know how many bees feel on that  😉

     

    I will say that I find it odd that he would hang out with a girl while you were out of the country, and not tell you about it. Especially, if he does not typically spend time with her alone while you are at home. 

     

    I think you are more than justified to explain your feelings on the matter, and to ask for boundaries. 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1125 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I wouldn’t have let it go the first time. My husband knows good and well by now flirting isn’t tolerated. I wont do it and I expect him not to. But I guess that’s my “controlling behavior” as some would say. 

     

    What I say is… If it makes you uncomfortable tell him it needs to stop. You have a right to demand this as he is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with. If this is something you will get over, just let it go. But don’t sit on it and push it back and ignore it or it will come back out later on in the future. Discussion is key.

    I would also not advice you talk to her about it, she knows she’s stepping over the line, anything you say will just make her feel better and make her talk about you more like she did when you were away. Let your FI handle it and leave her out of it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee

    @bretonvirgniia:  I think for the most part a one on one hangout with the opposite gender is not okay… If it was a group thing Id understand and hey even a quick coffee might be a tad understandable, but a bar? no…not okay in my opinion

    Post # 14
    Member
    1660 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would tear the crap out of him. I really hope it’s innocent. FI has some female friends he considers sisters. Anyone other than them would definitely get a stare down from me. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1681 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @bretonvirgniia:  I’m super laid back and very trusting with FI. and I mean VERY trusting. As in, FI went on a trip for school while in college. There was one girl and 5 guys. She wasn’t comfortable with the others, so he shared a hotel room with her. I was ok with it.

    Anyways, if I found out he went out to a bar with another woman, especially while I was out of the country, I would FLIP SHIT. I mean ape shit. He’d be crying in the doghouse, and I might never let him back in.

     

    ETA: It’s EXTRA sneaky that he did it while you were away. You have every right to be angry.

     

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