(Closed) Am I right to be jealous/irritated?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: would you be mad?

    yes. NOT COOL.

    no, everyone flirts. it's ok for my fiance to hang out with girls.

    other...

  • Post # 77
    Member
    4522 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My shit would be packed. Seriously: guys like this DO NOT CHANGE. If you busted your friends fiance out with a girl and she didnt know it, what would you tell HER to do?

    Please get rid of this guy: there is nothing innocent about him meeting up with another girl and not mentioning it to you.

    Post # 78
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would be furious and seriously questioning the relationship!

    Post # 79
    Member
    9680 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    @badabing88:  +1. They don’t change, except to get worse. Once they see what they can get away with, trick you into believing, and even have you defending, it will only get worse. If it is not something I would do in front of my FI’s face, I won’t do it at all. I sure wouldn’t lie to him, and wouldn’t tolerate him lying to me. I can’t even contemplate him behaving this way.  

    Post # 80
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @MrsPanda99:  “Douche canoe” is my favorite new diss!  Were you the one who used it on that other thread?  I want to give credit where credit is due.  Lol!

    Post # 81
    Member
    9680 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    @VegasSukie:  I was ๐Ÿ™‚ It is very Canadian, eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰ He was insulting me for being Russian (even though I self-identify as Canadian), so I thought I’d give him a little taste back.

    Honestly, I thought I made it up but

    View original reply
    @badabing88: said that she has used it before too. I am terribly disappointed :- It’s not my fault we invented it at the same time ๐Ÿ˜›  

    Post # 82
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @MrsWBS:  I totally agree that the OP needs to deal with her Fiance and not the other woman.  I get that the other woman owes the OP nothing.  It just makes me sad/mad to see women go after men they know are taken (which in this scenario the other woman clearly knows).  Seems like guys have the whole “bros before hoes” thing down but women will literally cut each other for a man.

    Sorry for my rant but this topic hits close to home. I have no respect for women like this C person.  But yes, I would definitely be dealing with the Fiance and not the other woman (just to be clear Wink).

    Post # 83
    Member
    4522 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

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    @VegasSukie:  LMAO I laughed my butt off when I saw her use that term the other day.

    View original reply
    @MrsPanda99:  I’m starting to wonder if you are or are related to my sorority sister I learned it from ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 84
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @MrsPanda99:  and @badabing88: Well I thought it was fan-freakin-tastic! DOUCHE CANOE!  It just rolls off the tongue! I guarantee no one in my neck of the woods has heard that phrase so I hope you don’t mind if borrow it. Laughing

    Post # 85
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @badabing88:  LOL!  You guys have given me LIFE with that phrase!  Douche canoe! Douche canoe!  LOL!  Brilliant!

    Post # 88
    Member
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Maybe you’re asking the wrong question here – whether you are “right” to be jealous and/or irritated is really beside the point. Jealousy is a very ugly emotion that we all try to avoid! But sometimes it flares up; rather than trying to “own” it, much better to just try to do a little self-assessment, discover its source, and then take proactive steps to deal with it.

    That being said, though, your Fiance is not behaving in a very honorable way. This relationship between him and C sounds very inappropriate – she’s one of those skanky, low-life women who go after married and attached men – there’s never any excuse for that. But you can’t do anything about her, and I wouldn’t engage her in any way.

    He’s playing a dangerous game, flirting with her and hanging out with her when you are far away. He must get some sort of thrill from this, which is why he keeps the situation going, but it’s very disrespectful to you. He sounds far too immature to get married; as others have said, he’s not going to magically change after becoming your husband.

    Being aware of the kinds of feelings his actions stir up in you, you gotta ask yourself the question: are you ready to deal with a lifetime of this? There will always be trashy, skanky womenn out there who have no compunction about trying to insert themselves in other people’s relationships, and he seems to know it’s wrong to encourage them, yet he does so anyway, for his own self-gratification.

    You have some serious, non-emotional thinking and decisions to make here, and my heart goes out to you. Best of luck!

    P.S. – just saw your update – keep us posted!

     

    Post # 89
    Member
    1040 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would be LIVID. Fiance and I have had flirty issues akin to this in the past. it hits a little too close to home.  I feel like actually meeting up with her crosses an undefinable line… Leading down the path toward a potential for something worse.

    Fiance and I also work together. That’s a touchy situation… I agree with some previous posters that you should be more irritated with your fella. However, at the same time, who the F— does this chick think she is?! She KNOWS you two, and your situation. I would be incredibly irritated with her as well. NOT acceptable.

    Post # 91
    Member
    1474 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @bretonvirgniia I’m glad you two are going to pre-marital counseling. That’s an awesome idea. Good for you guys. Hopefully the proper boundaries will be set and followed from now on to prevent these issues in your marriage. 

    The topic ‘Am I right to be jealous/irritated?’ is closed to new replies.

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