(Closed) Am I ruining the surprise?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

No, how are you ruining the surprise by planning for the wedding? You aren’t planning the proposal =]. I wouldn’t worry about it!

Post # 4
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Nah, you already know he will propose. You also know he wants a short engagement. If you wait until he proposes and you have a short engagement, it will be that much stressful to plan with no time, you better continue in order to be efficient when it’s official!

Post # 5
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant

I started reading weddingbee and collecting “inspiration” for about 3 months before I actually got engaged. It kept me sane so I wouldn’t keep asking him about it or bringing up wedding related things.

Post # 6
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

no way! i don’t think so. even if you did quit the bee, you would still be planning it in your head lol

besides, if he wants a short engagement… sufficient time is needed to prepare! planning a wedding takes a lot of time and a lot of decisions, so why not familiarize yourself with everything now? it will make the actual planning process post-engagement a much smoother ride πŸ™‚

Post # 7
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

NO! Don’t go! I think it’s silly that you feel you are ruining the surprise. The fact is, you have no idea of when he will pop the question, so why not distract yourself in the meantime? I am not engaged yet and am also using planning and the bee to keep myself from saying NOW NOW NOW DO IT NOW! lol

Post # 9
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

you’re not ruining anything! i’ve been reading here for like a year and a half and I’m still not engaged, but the anticipation’s not less exciting cause of being here and doing some pre-planning! i think as long as you are not obsessing and trying to find out exactly when or snooping through his stuff, you’ll still be plenty surprised when it happens!

Post # 10
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with everyone – no way!  I am in a similar spot and I think it will be even more exciting when I get the ring because I have all these fantastic ideas to get started on.

Post # 11
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The whole year of 2010 is a pretty broad timeline so I don’t see how you are ruining the surprise! I will say that I (personally) think that one of the exciting parts of being engaged is being able to START planning a wedding. For me, it was more special to wait to start planning because it was really an affirmation that we are getting MARRIED! But everyone is different πŸ™‚

Post # 14
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010


i wish i had found weddingbee a month or two before we got engaged… it woulda kept me sane during the “waiting” game of the talks and planning and bla bla…!

although i didn’t start planning until a few months after we were engaged… in hindsight, i think it’s a HUGE task to take on and anything to mitigate the stress is a good thing! πŸ™‚

Post # 15
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think it’s fine to get inspiration and ideas, but I’d be hesitant about actually *planning*–hold off on venue visits, catering tastings, etc. until you are engaged or you won’t have all those fun things to do as an engaged couple! And make sure that you are not doing so much planning that you are missing out on getting to make fun decisions *with* your fiance.

Post # 16
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with Saphire, nothing wrong with doing research before hand… thats what I’m doing, but I’m not actually booking anything yet.  It’ll be really productive so that when you do get engaged, you can go with your fiancee to all the venues you researched πŸ™‚  It saves time and keeps your mind off the proposal, at least it is for me!  Nothing wrong with getting ideas beforehand, but I am reluctant to actually talk about it to others because I kept hearing, “omg you’re not even engaged yet!”… LOL, but I dont think they realized how soon it will be happening, but still, I’d do it secretly πŸ˜‰

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