(Closed) Am I sacrifcing too much?

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
219 posts
Helper bee

I think you are, it’s both his and YOUR wedding.. you should get to have a say in it just as much as he does. 

Post # 4
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with @Miss Marbles:.  This is a decision that you should be making together with compromise on both sides if needed.  Right now it seems to be all on you and that’s not right or fair.

Post # 5
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Yes this also seems unfair to me. You two need to sit down and have a long discussion.

Post # 6
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This was hard for me to follow, let me see if I have this straight… he doesn’t want to get married in the US because he’d like his brother to come. You don’t want to get married in the Bahamas for monetary reasons. You guys need to compromise. Is Mexico an option? Its much cheaper than the Bahamas and is incredibly beautiful. Just a thought, good luck on your compromise and don’t agree to anything you’ll regret.

Post # 8
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think this might be a case where you’re better off letting this discussion drop until he formally proposes and you have a date.  It seems like the earliest you’d be getting married would be end of this year, and who knows what ticket prices or family situations will look like in seven or eight months.

You might also invest in some pre-marital counselling. 

Post # 9
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with @teaadntoast this seems like a lot of stress before he has proposed.  After we got engaged we sat down with both sets of parents and discussed what they thought and then together we decided what we would do.   I think you need to take a step back for a while and then re-visit.  I think regardless you are going to be unable to please everyone because weddings are just that way.

Post # 10
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Can’t you guys do two mini-receptions? One to satisfy each side of the family. This is also ideal when sometimes one side has TOO MANY people than the other side. It’s easier to break down in terms of sanity and costs.

Post # 12
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

What about getting married in Canada?

Also, I think you should let this all drop until he actually proposes and you are ready to plan a wedding.

I would not give up having my family at my wedding. Just let him know that the Bahamas is not an option.

Try Canada or maybe even Belize if your Future Mother-In-Law is afraid of Mexico.

Post # 13
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I second @Sasha2011:‘s idea. What if you guys eloped (like you want to do), then you can have 2 seperate receptions for each side of the family. One in FLA or Cali (I couldn’t figure out which one you’d rather have it so I just included both) for your family and then one in the Bahamas for his family. This way everyone compromises to get the best of both worlds.

Post # 14
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Why can’t his brother come to the united states? I’ve never travelled outside the US so I guess I don’t know what goes into getting a VISA. I think its unfair that anything you want is being vetoed. Marriage is compromise and he needs to learn that. I think its a good idea to truly wait until your actually engaged, but this should be sending up some red flags for you about your future and how important decisions are going to be made.

Post # 16
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MissCallieJean: I agree on the red flags and compromise.  I also agree with the PP’s about premarital counseling.  It might help with figuring out where to have the wedding, in the very least.

good luck!!!!

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