- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
I am recently engaged, and my fiance and I are planning to have our wedding late next year. I am absolutely thrilled as I am one of those girls that have been dreaming about their wedding ever since they were little. That in turn means that I would want a bit of a “lavish” wedding (approx. $20K), an amount that is a bit difficult to achieve at the moment. I have a good paying job, while my fiance makes decent pay but has a lot of bills due to prior poor financial decisions. The job I am in is one that I absolutely abhor which is why before the engagement, I was trying to get back into grad school (ie., studying and taking required tests) so that I could have more and better opportunities in the future. Also, having a PhD is a dream of mine. Getting a new job is not an option as I will be getting my letters of recommendations from my fellow employees. All of the schools I am interested in are not local, so we would have to move. However, my fiance is two years away from completing school and getting his certificate for IT. As of now, I have all of the paperwork for my applications ready to go.
Now here’s my dilemma: If I were to go to back to school, we would have to move and my fiance would have to find a new job in our new city, in addition find a college that would be able to take his transfered credits as well as pay out-of-state tuition fees. I am positive that we will find a school that will take his credits, but I am sure it will involve a bit of research. I have been looking to go back to school for some time even before he started working towards his certificate, but I feel like I should postpone it until he is finish with school. He has expressed his concerns, not directly though, that this is his preferred option but he said he would support me either way. He is feeling stressed about trying to financially support both of us while going to school, even though a job is guaranteed with grad school admission in my field, so we would have two incomes. Also, I will most likely get a stipend so my college tuition is taken care of. The upside in staying here for two years at my current job would be that saving and paying for the wedding wouldn’t be as difficult. But then again, my job does not challenge me and advancing to a higher position most likely won’t happen since my company has the thinking that those that do well at their position, stay at their current position.
I feel like the right answer is to stay here, though. The wedding has added a bit of financial strain because if I were to go back to school, I am sure relocation costs would be quite high. However, I am also stubborn and know that this will be my only wedding and I want it to be as special as I always dreamed. Yet, I feel heartbroken that all of my hard work the past year in relearning material and doing well on my tests is for naught. Also, by the time I get out of school, I will be in my mid-30’s and I had planned on wanting children before that age.
Can anyone offer words of encouragement? Or criticism for my behavior? I’ll take anything.