(Closed) Am I sending my STD’s out too early?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
47 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Plantation Bay Country Club

I don’t think it is too early. Most people need that amount of time to save money and make their arrangements. My fiance and I are getting married in May 2010 and we sent out our Save the Dates in June 2009. So almost a year a head of time. We have people in Hawaii and Newfoundland who would need to make arrangements. 

Here is what we sent out:


Post # 4
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

ive done extensive research on this one (in the bee boards, etiquette guides, yada) as we have a long engagement and probably 90% out of towners. typically, 9 months out is good, so for july 31, you’d want to send them nov 30/dec 1.

however, if you feel that it would be better for your particular set of guests to get them out early, then send them in september like you are planning. i dont think there’s anything wrong with that.

one thing to keep in mind – you HAVE to invite everyone who gets an STD (heehee, always makes me laugh), so you might just want to keep that in mind when deciding who to send them to – we are planning on sending STDs only to people we are 1000% positive we will want at the wedding to avoid any uncomfortable faux pas down the road….

Post # 5
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

That probably is too early.  DH and I were married on July 3 (so a Friday on a holiday weekend) and we sent ours out at the beginning of October.  There are a lot of airlines that don’t let you book until 6 months out, so you don’t want people to get a save the date, then forget by the time they can book the flight they want. 

Additionally, we wrote up a complete guest list at that point… then regretted a few of our choices once the wedding got closer.  It felt wierd to reach out to those guests since we hadn’t really spoken much since the STD went out!  Wait till the date gets a little closer… at 6-8 months you’ll still have plenty of time to get great rates, but there will be less of the “huh, haven’t spoken to you in a year” wierdness that could come up.

Post # 6
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are planning a September 25, 2010 wedding. We plan to send out save the dates out in November 2009. Our reasoning:

a good 80% of the guest list is from Out of Town. We want to give them ample time. However, we don’t want to send the cards in December or January because we don’t want them to get mixed in with holiday cards and lost. i think its fine and no one will think twice about it.

Post # 7
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We sent ours out about 9 months in advance.

Post # 8
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Hmm. Depends on if that’s a popular weekend for something, like if one of your families always takes a vacation on that weekend, if there’s a festival in your town, etc. I’m not sending my out until late November and my wedding’s about a month before yours, but there’s nothing going on that they wouldn’t be able to come.

PS @ Miss.Gator: you’re the first Date Twin I’ve seen!!! YAY!!!

Post # 9
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

We’re planning on sending them between 7-9 months. I have a wide range because you never know what will happen when I start deciding everything! 🙂

Post # 10
24 posts
  • Wedding: March 2010

Our wedding is in March 2010 – and Im sending our STD’s out in September. 6 months ahead of time. 90% of our guests are coming from either Michigan/Ohio and Canada.


Post # 11
8 posts
  • Wedding: February 2010

Oh gosh! My wedding is in Feb and this post is making me think I should get on the STD boat stat!

Post # 12
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you think your guests need that much notice, go ahead and send them out unless you’re sticking to the "rules". If you’re simply excited to send them because you want to share the news or send a cute STD, I’d encourage you to wait until the 6-9 month mark.

You can also just be sure to inform anyone who would need a year to plan of your date now. There’s a wedding in August I could have gone to if I’d had more notice. Everyone’s in a different situation. 

Post # 13
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ha, ha- I’m obviously so new to all this since when I saw your header and it said “std’s”, I was like…wow, this is a post I must read! Tongue out

Post # 15
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

I don’t think it seems too far out so long as you do wait until Sept to send them…if you are worried about people forgetting you could always send out a mass e-mail reminder a few months before the invites.

Post # 16
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’re getting married in May, 2010…and plan on sending out our STDs probably around the first week of November….so what is that, about seven months in advance?  I don’t really think it matters too much…and I definitely don’t like being a slave to etiquette!  Send them out whenever you want! 🙂

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