Post # 1
my younger cousin has been talking to this guy for a while.
they finally made it FB offical today and when I saw who this kid was I almost threw up. He’s a tow truck driver who I’m very familiar with and I know him from a few mutual friends, he deals drugs, sells and was caught recently for a stunt driving charge. He’s involved with people who steal cars, and just on the opposite side of the law.
my husband is friends with a guy he works with and they have nothing good to say about this kid. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but judging by his friends and social connections he hasn’t really “grown up” or “changed.” she said he was honest to her about his past and told her he’s changed.
I know all this information but feel horrible saying anything, as much as I’m happy to see her happy I’m scared to see her hurt…
advice for a confused bee?
Post # 2
How old are they?
If they are teenagers then it would be worth saying something. However, do you think your cousin will really listen? Part of life is making mistakes, getting a little hurt and becoming stronger for it. If he could get her in legal trouble then it is worth laying out the risks for her.
Post # 3
She is 21 & he’s 24.
I am more worried of him dragging her along on one of his “adventures” and her getting into trouble which will affect her life long. Her last relationship ended horrible and I don’t want to see her hurt. I do know people can change, my husband was a trouble maker before we met. But this doesn’t seem to be in his past, but more in his everyday actions & lifestyle.
Post # 4
I mean, he can say he’s changed all he wants, but you nor she knows that he actually has, so I would lay everything out on the table for her. Don’t get emotionally invested in the decision she makes, but definitely make sure she’s proceeding with all the facts you can possibly give her.
If she decides to proceed anyways, well, that’s her life and her choice to make. I’m guessing she’ll make that choice, but at least you can know you did everything you could to help her avoid a bad situation if it does turn out to be bad.
Post # 5
I know it sucks to feel like you’re looking on while someone makes a huge mistake, but unfortunately sometimes people just have to learn their own lessons. I dated the WORST guy from ages 15-19 and both of my parents tried to get me to realise what he was like – I just did the teenage “you don’t understand our love!!!” flounce and thought they were so wrong. Of course, they turned out to be extremely correct and got a sheepish apology from me. Fiance and I recently went through the same thing with my stepson’s first Girlfriend (he’s 14) – everything about this girl screamed ‘hot mess’ but we kept quiet and secretly high fived when he broke up with her after a few months.
If you are actually fearful for your cousin’s safety at any point then by all means step in, but if you don’t think she is in danger just support her without stepping in too much, and she’ll thank you later.
Post # 6
theatrejulia : duchessgummybunns : misskate18 :
Thank you for you’re advice guys. I went to lunch with my cousin yesterday she was talking to me about him and he seems to have changed his life around. He seems like a good guy. Hoping for the best.