(Closed) Am I stepping an unseen boundary

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9524 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How old are they? 

If they are teenagers then it would be worth saying something. However, do you think your cousin will really listen? Part of life is making mistakes, getting a little hurt and becoming stronger for it. If he could get her in legal trouble then it is worth laying out the risks for her.

Post # 4
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee

I mean, he can say he’s changed all he wants, but you nor she knows that he actually has, so I would lay everything out on the table for her. Don’t get emotionally invested in the decision she makes, but definitely make sure she’s proceeding with all the facts you can possibly give her.

If she decides to proceed anyways, well, that’s her life and her choice to make. I’m guessing she’ll make that choice, but at least you can know you did everything you could to help her avoid a bad situation if it does turn out to be bad. 

Post # 5
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I know it sucks to feel like you’re looking on while someone makes a huge mistake, but unfortunately sometimes people just have to learn their own lessons. I dated the WORST guy from ages 15-19 and both of my parents tried to get me to realise what he was like – I just did the teenage “you don’t understand our love!!!” flounce and thought they were so wrong. Of course, they turned out to be extremely correct and got a sheepish apology from me. Fiance and I recently went through the same thing with my stepson’s first Girlfriend (he’s 14) – everything about this girl screamed ‘hot mess’ but we kept quiet and secretly high fived when he broke up with her after a few months.

If you are actually fearful for your cousin’s safety at any point then by all means step in, but if you don’t think she is in danger just support her without stepping in too much, and she’ll thank you later.

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