(Closed) Am I supposed to buy the bridesmaids dresses?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
1457 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with PP about you not having to, but it’s the right thing to do. I think if you don’t pay for them, then you should go the “choose your own dress in this color/length” route at least

Post # 17
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee

I had my bridesmaids wear the same color, but mismatched dresses. Looked lovely in pics, and everyone picked something they were comfortable in. It worked out really well. 

They all sent me pictures of I shopped with them to make sure the entire look was Cohesive. Overall, everyone looked amazing because of how confident they felt in their dress!! 

Post # 18
Member
34 posts
Newbee

In the UK the bride pays for the BMs dresses. The bride usually chooses a few that they like and then sees what the bridesmaids would feel comfortable in and come to a mutual agreement. 

Post # 19
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee

I let my bridesmaid choose a dress and she chose a $20 dress from Amazon which I paid for. It doesn’t have to be expensive 

Post # 20
Member
1911 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

littlebuzz:  I need to move to the UK because every time I’ve been a bridesmaid, I paid for my dresses even though I have yet to like the selections, the dresses weren’t cheap, and they just sat in the closet after each wedding lol. Personally, I think only the bride should have a dress that’s only for one-time wear. That’s one of the main reasons I allowed my BM’s to pick out their own dresses. I just told them the color. A couple of them couldn’t decide easily, so I sent them several links of cute dresses, all of which were well under $100. They ended up settling on a $40 dress from Amazon. My bestie chose a different dress from Nordstrom’s, but her budget is way different than my other BM’s and she was my Maid/Matron of Honor, so her having a different dress wasn’t unusual anyway. They all bought the same style shoe, as their dresses were above the knee.

Post # 21
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

In Ireland the bride pays for all of them.

Post # 22
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

If you’re in the UK you need to pay. If you can’t afford to pay then you don’t get to dictate the dresses they wear (i.e. they can all wear a dress they already own, regardless of colour/style/whether they all clash with each other). This is why I have two bridesmaids (my best friend from school and my best friend from Uni) – that’s how many I can afford to buy a nice dress for!

Post # 23
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

stefzbee:  I can’t even imagine having to spend the money some of the US bees do. I would feel mortified expecting my bms to buy their own dresses. Tradition sucks sometimes! x

Post # 24
Member
1911 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

littlebuzz:  I could have booked a vacation abroad with the money I’ve spent on Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses lol. Hopefully if I’m asked again, the dress will be one that I actually like! That would make the expense easier to stomach, if it’s something that I like and would wear agin.

Post # 25
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

I am in New Zealand and from my experience the bride pays for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are factored into the wedding budget. The thought would be if the bride can’t afford the dresses a) Have less bridesmaids, b) cut back somewhere else c) get cheaper dresses or d) they can wear their own. Every culture does it differently it seems but I must say I would be pretty annoyed having to pay hundreds of dollars for some satin full length gown that I would never wear again!!

Post # 26
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

As other bees have said, in the UK generally ten bride pays for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. I don’t think it’s rude to ask BMs to pay for their own dresses, but then you need to let them choose it themselves. As long as everyone knows what the deal is in advance everything will be fine. 

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