(Closed) Am I terribly antiquated for NOT wanting a first look?

posted 7 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
4824 posts
Honey bee

No, its perfectly OK.

I really didnt feel like it took anything away having done it. The feelings we got were still so real and so special and emotional.  But I can understand if someone hasnt done it that they would be afraid that it would take away from the moment. 

Post # 4
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

My Fiance is very against seeing me before the ceremony, so there won’t be a first look for us.  We can get around it because of the unfortunate three-hour-long gap between the ceremony and reception.  I would really prefer not to have such a gap, but because of the scheduling at the church, it’s going to happen.  The one upside is that we’ll have plenty of time for photos.

Post # 5
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You have to do what will feel the most special for you. We are going to do one since it will work the best for us, but i can see why some people wouldnt want to. I would suggest taking all photos that you dont have to be in together before the ceremony and then taking the rest after so your guest dont have to wait too long. You could also consider doing a day after session to get more pics of the two of you without having to rush.

Post # 6
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s fine to not want one.  We did one because we wanted the maximum amount of time to spend with our guests.  I can tell you that his expression during the first look was amazing, but so was his expression as I walked down the aisle.  The aisle was pretty long, and there was a bend, so I’m sure he saw me before I saw him.  But he hadn’t seen me yet with the veil, walking toward him about to marry him, and he looked really excited.

For me, the benefit of having a private moment with him to see each other, followed by leisurely time taking pictures before the ceremony, and also having him by my side as we prepared to go out there and do this thing…those were way better than seeing his face as he saw me for the first time walking down the aisle. 

That said, if you’re not worried about spending extra time with guests, and you’ve been dreaming of this moment, don’t feel pressured into skipping it just because the bridal machine says you should.

Post # 7
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My brother didn’t do a first look. They still got a lot of their pictures done before the ceremony, her with her family and bridesmaids and him with his family and groomsmen. That way they had less to do after the ceremony.

Post # 8
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No not at all. I refuse to show my Fiance my dress and my Dad does not want to see it either.

I am actually thinking of doing First Look Photos with my dad. Clearly he will see me before the ceremony, since I am getting ready at my parents house. I am going to wait to see him until I am fully dressed. I thought a first look type picture with my dad could be kind of special.

Post # 10
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We are against the first look concept, too.  I am also pretty adamant that my veil be such that no one is able to see my face before he does.  I want him to be the first person to see my married face after the moment we say ‘I do’.  Does that make sense?  

Post # 11
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No, not at all. I know a lot of people that did it and were really happy with it, but I am so happy we chose not to. It was priceless when he saw me coming down the aisle; I don’t think that look on his face would have been the same had he seen me prior to my walking down with my dad. 🙂

Post # 12
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s a personal choice, and whatever you want is fine! Lots of people still don’t do them. Nothing antiquated about it.

I don’t want to do a first look, but because of timing and such we might have to. We don’t have a cocktail hour or anything, so it seems rude to make the guests wait an hour while we get photos done.

Post # 13
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Our ceremony and reception are at the same location so we will have a cocktail hour in between– during this hour the bridal party will do photos. My family is very social so they will be plenty happy to grab a drink and hang out and talk to eachother for an hour.  Plus, I’m really not too concerned with having a gazillion “posed” bridal party photos, so whatever we get done in the hour is all we get!

 I am a true romantic at heart, and a little old fashioned I guess, and I want the very first time my FH sees me in my dress to be when the doors open and I walk down the aisle. 

Post # 14
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s fine to do whatever you are comfortable with. Why worry whether it is ‘antiquated’ or not? I’m sure many people would be horrified that we’re going to get ready together at home the day of the wedding, but it works for us.

Post # 15
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wasn’t originally for a first look but I’m glad we did.  Because we were marrying in a park, our only ability to have pictures near the ocean was to have a first look.  Our first look was AMAZING.  We were both stressed since we were running an hour behind.(Think cellphones ringing every 5 mins)  But in that moment, time didnt’ matter. 

When we did see each other @ the ceremony, we were both so happy to see each other.  We kissed and hugged before the minister could begin.lmao

After the ceremony, we took as many photos w/ family, etc, then we did about 30 min w/ just us after sending everyone to the restaurant.

My suggestion to ensure you get all the photos you want:

-Take as many family and wedding party photos before the ceremony.

Believe me the day goes by soo fast!!!!!

Post # 16
11113 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We didn’t do it and I didn’t want to. He was really emotional when I got there next to him he had to look at me in stages 1. face 2. top half 3. bottom half as he was so choked.

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