Am I the afterthought

posted 8 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Bust.  So sorry bee, but you deserve better.  Don’t waste another breath on that man.

Post # 32
Member
6657 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry, Bee, he’s a shit. Move on and find someone who wants to make a life with you, not just share living expenses. Hugs.

Post # 33
Member
4066 posts
Honey bee

I’m sorry. You’re not an afterthought to this guy, you’re no thought at all.

Post # 34
Member
6816 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

whyme22 :  I’m sorry Bee. It doesn’t even sound like you’re an afterthought. You’re just someone keeping a warm space by his side at this point. 

Post # 35
Member
3743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I’m so sorry OP. It sounds like you’re not even an afterthought. It’s also not that he doesn’t think of you, he deliberately kept you out of this so once he told you, it would be too late for you to join him. That’s completely awful, I’d be heartbroken. I remember finding out from my ex-h’s mother that he had been given a job promotion, he just forgot to tell me and that felt awful. I cant even imagine how you must be feeling. I would end it and find someone who acts like they give a sh*t about you!

Post # 36
Member
1155 posts
Bumble bee

Someone who considers you a permanent fixture in their life (or hell, even an important part of it!) wouldn’t act like this. You know that. 

If he’s unable to understand why his treatment of you is upsetting, which I doubt he does, just move on. 

Post # 37
Hostess
3854 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m so sorry bee.  D.H. and I weren’t engaged yet when my sister got married (together 7 years at that point) and D.H. was included in everything family related.  My brother had only been dating his now-fiance for like a month by the time of our wedding and I offered for him to invite her.  It sounds like his family either doesn’t know you exist or doesn’t consider you family.  You definitely deserve better than that.  

Post # 38
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee

whyme22 :  yeah i have a weird feeling about this.

Have you met his family before? Do you have a good relationship with you? Other than trying to keep you away from family, i dont have a clue why he would not tell you?

Even if it was a money issue I would say “were invited to my brothers wedding, it might be a bit expensive for us both to go but lets look at the numbers” or something. 

It is def. weird he didnt even mention it and already has the room booked. I am not sure whats going on here, but i would be upset too. 

Post # 39
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It’s time to cut your losses and leave him.

Post # 40
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

whyme22 :  Umm it sounds like you aren’t even in a relationship. Much less a serious one. This dude feels no need to tell you anything. 

Post # 41
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

This guy sucks! Sorry! I would be freaking pissed I didn’t know about a wedding for 6 months and my bf didn’t tell me. ALso, he tells you he can’t save for a ring but he can spend all this money on other things? Come on, lets be real here. Girl, do yourself a favor and cut your losses on this idiot. Find someone who actually gives a shit about you cos it’s clear this guy doesn’t!

Post # 42
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

What the actual fuck, this does not sound like a healthy relationship. He’s withholding information and lying to you. 

whyme22 :  

Post # 45
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Sorry to say, I don’t think this guy is into this at all. It sounds you are at best, a fun habit for him. And you deserve more. 

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