(Closed) am I the asshole? a little bit of a rant.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

@partyplanner83:  I don’t think you should feel bad, you’re most definitely not the asshole here! 
As a PP said, he’s mad at himself for not getting up on time (I struggle, I love sleep but I also have insomnia, yay) and he’s taking it out on you.
You’re not his mother, and you’re not his personal alarm clock!  
 

Post # 20
Member
1225 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am like your Fiance, when I’m not fully awake I will assure my Fiance I a don’t need to get up, and be a bitch, etc. But that doesn’t mean it’s my FI’s fault if he believes me! If i do that i apologize to him for making him deal with me! I set multiple alarms so if the first doesn’t fully wake me up, the second will hit when I’m not fully asleep and do the rest of the job, and there is sometimes a third as backup. I have to figure out how to take care of my own shit bc I’m am adult. You should buy him that alarm clock that rolls around & has to be caught to be turned off.

Post # 22
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@partyplanner83:  I’m on your side.  He’s a grown up.  I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning either but I’m an adult and I make myself do it.  If FH didn’t wake me at all I might get mad, but if he’s come in twice and I’m still not up, that’s on me.

Post # 23
Member
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Id be annoyed! But would’ve took covers off, turn fan & light on and open up the curtains.

Post # 24
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Unless he’s 14 and you’re his mother, it’s definitely not your job to hound him awake!

Post # 25
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@partyplanner83:  mine is a total teenager when it comes to gettting out of bed – I turn to prodding pushing, kicking, dragging, physically picking his legs out of bed, he’s horrible.

You should get him one of thoes annoying alarm clocks that he has to get out of bed to turn off becasue the off switch is in another room.  I would get one but I know it would just be me getting uo to turn it off :/ but if your schedules are not the same it could work really well for you.

Post # 26
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Umm yeah, they’ve invented a machine to do this job, it’s called an alarm clock.  I’d buy one for him today.

Post # 27
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

hell,i get frustrated doing this on a school morning with my kids,never mind a partner! my youngest (14) is a nightmare and gets the ‘MOVEEEEEEEEEEEE’ after the second attempt….for the man i think id be doing a cold cup of water treatment haha!

Post # 28
Member
4136 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This sounds, word for word, to fights my SO and I have because he is like moving a dead body in the morning. If I try to wake him up he snaps, yells, “lies” about not needing to get up, etc. So then I am always in a position of: Do I stand over you, yelling at you, to get up like your mother? Or do I walk away and let you deal with the consequences like a grown ass man? I usually stand over him and scream anyways, haha. 

My favorite thing to tell him is that I am “not his mother and I can not be here to micromanage your life 24/7!!!!!!” That usually gets him going, but trust me, my SO and I have fights like this almost daily. Sometimes he gets angry with me if I am being particularly persistant [*annoying, as he would say]. 

I agree, however, with you. You are not his mother, he is a grown man and needs to deal with the consequences of his actions from not waking up. 

Post # 29
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am like your man in that I will beg/steal/cheat/lie in order to sleep in a few extra minutes. I’ve also been known to fall back asleep when DH tries to wake me up. I wouldn’t get mad at him if he tried and I chose to ignore him, that’s my fault. I may be grumpy, but I think your Fiance was out of line by saying negative things to you. Just tell him you’ll wake him up once and that’s it

Post # 30
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@partyplanner83:  Buy him an alarm clock and be done with it. I don’t see why he needs to rely on you, then gets pissy when he is late.. Logic?!

Post # 31
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Fiance also tries to get me to kick him (gently) out of bed in the mornings.  It drove me nuts, and I eventually stopped doing it.  Men are adults!  You are not your FIs mother.  Its his, not your, responsibility to get up by a certain time.  

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