(Closed) am I the asshole? a little bit of a rant.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My Fiance would sleep forever if he could… he is terrible at waking up in the morning. At this point, he would never ask me to wake him up because he knows my answer will be a big fat No. He sets his alarm like a big boy, and wakes up all on his own.

Post # 48
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Exact same thing happens in our house! Usually I try once, maybe twice if I am feeling extra nice and then leave him alone. He can set his alarm and hit snooze if he wants to be woken up (again) every 10 minutes!

Post # 49
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Go to walmart and buy a cheap alarm clock. Once you get home, be nice and tell him that the fight you had is silly and that you don’t want to fight with him anymore about it and give him the alarm clock.


Hell, you can spend a little more money and get him one of those alarm clocks with wheels that you have to chase down to get it to turn off since it runs around your room once it goes off.  That might be a bit more entertaining.

Post # 50
1056 posts
Bumble bee

@partyplanner83:  Just wondering, is this the only thing he doesn’t take responsibility for in his life? Is there a pattern of this?

Post # 51
1471 posts
Bumble bee

Tell him to set his alarm!

Post # 52
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@partyplanner83: I mean, does he not have an alarm clock? You’re his fiance, not his iPhone. He’s acting like a spoiled 10 year old (and even when I was 10, I had an alarm clock and didn’t rely on my mom to wake me).

Post # 53
4144 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@partyplanner83:  You’re definitely not the asshole here. SEt an alarm clock for god sake, he’s an adult and should get up when and if he needs to.

Post # 54
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m your husband. I’m horrible at getting up. But I don’t blame my SO when I mess up. So no you not an asshole. 

Post # 55
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Yea PPs are dead on. My SO has asked me before to wake her up. She works nights and will sleep until say, 7 and I’ll get home at 5:30. If I lose track of time all of a sudden the blame is on me for not waking her up. A few times of this & she now sets an alarm. It was never anger EXACTLY but it’d be “babeeee I told you to wake me up half an hour ago” or “why didn’t you wake me?”…I didn’t like having to look at the clock all the time. Or I’D have to set an alarm when she just as well could have.

Alarms are so much easier. I vote mount one on the wall across the room so he has to get his behind up to turn it off =P

Post # 56
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is sooo my DH.  I have to get up earlier since I am the one who gets our son who is 2 ready for the day.  Seriously there are days I have to go in not once, not twice but at least 3 times to tell him he needs to get up.  GAHHHH

Post # 57
1934 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re in a lose-lose situation. He’ll yell at you if you’re persistant in trying to wake him up while he’s ‘lying, cheating, or stealing’ to sleep in or he’ll yell at you if you don’t try hard enough.


Tell him to get a good alarm app. I use Wake ‘n Shake which makes you physically shake the phone for several seconds really, really hard until it will shut off. It doesn’t put up with any bullshit and neither should you. 😉



Post # 58
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

So he tells you it’s fine and he doesn’t need to get up, then is mad that you should have known he was lying and did need to get up… Get him one of those alarm clocks that rolls around the room or something so you actually have to get out of bed to turn it off!

And how were you up so long after a night shift??  Whenever I work nights I go to bed immediately when I get home!  Hell, I work second shift and go to bed immediately when I get home.

Post # 59
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

If my Fiance kept asking me for a favor that just led to a fight I sure as hell wouldn’t be doing him any more favors. I think it’s time to implement a “We are all adults and therefore responsible for our own wake up time” rule. He doesn’t wake you up and you don’t wake him. 

Post # 60
3061 posts
Sugar bee

It isn’t your job to wake him especially if he isn’t going to get up.  Nor is it is your job to nag him.  You need to think laterally.  Here are a few suggestions to get you started. 


Buy some very cheap alarm clocks.  Let’s say 15 of them.  Hide them around the bedroom and set them to go off at: 7:00, 7:05, 7:10, 7:15, 7:20, 7:25, 7:30, 7:35, 7:40, 7:45, 7:50, 7:55, 8:00, 8:05, 8:10.  Put them in drawers, in wardrobes, in socks, in laundry baskets under the bed, Make sure that the one set for 8:10 is in a locked case. 


[Of course the only risk of this strategy is that he can play the same trick on you.]


Invite friends who play musical instruments to join you for breakfast and then arrange a ‘concert’ just outside the bedroom at the appropriate time.


Put his phone under the pillow and then ask friends and family to ring him up to tell him what time it is.

Any other bees have wacky suggestions?






Post # 61
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@partyplanner83:  Yeah I’m on your side with this one. You woke him up twice. He told you he didn’t need to get up, why would you go back and wake him up again?! Tell him to get an alarm clock!

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