(Closed) Am i the only one?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your first paragraph — okay, actually your whole post — fit how I felt while wedding planning to a T! I always wanted to grow up and be married, but I didn’t really have a lot of concern for the wedding itself. I kept everything as low cost and un-stuffy as possible. Spending all the money and having a formal affair just wasn’t a fit for us.

The only people that have to be happy with your wedding are you and your fiance. Do it however you want!

Post # 4
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@adriskill:  I was like you when we got married three years ago. But mainly because my darling husband turned into a bridezilla (or is that groomzilla?).

He obsessed over every detail of the ceremony process, pored over the weather reports, planned on “Plan B, C, D and XYZ” if it rained (the ceremony was in the botanic park). He wrote and re-wrote the wedding speech and even wanted to check mine! He also (and this was lovely) hatched a plan for one of our friends to bring a red rose (in the middle of the speech he gave it to me). Oh, and did I say he checked his suit obsessively and worried about matching ties and cufflinks, as well as rehearsing putting the ring on my finger!

It was all rather sweet and funny seeing him getting so excited. And of course it didn’t rain, everyone remembered their speech and I love getting red roses on our wedding anniversary.

Sorry it’s slightly off-topic, but my point was, while my husband was doing all this, I was quite happy to just go with the flow. So don’t worry if you are not being obsessive about the whole wedding thing. Chances are someone else will be. Having a relaxed attitude before and during the wedding is the most important, it’s meant to be a celebration, after all.

Post # 5
8031 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@adriskill:  You’re not the only one… that’s the big reason why we’re eloping!

I’d rather put the $$ into the rings and honeymoon than one day where it goes by so fast, costs so much, and despite all that, includes inevitable family drama.

I do love watching wedding shows, and weddings in general, though. Just not for me haha.

Post # 6
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I also never had wedding dreams prior to getting engaged. In fact I wasn’t really sure I wanted to get married. But now that I am, I’m enjoying it more than I would have thought. I’m trying to keep things pretty casual and low key but I am definately putting in more effort than necessary with decorations because I think they’re fun.

The biggest thing for me to remember is that weddingds are not contests to see who can throw the best wedding. The wedding is for us and our guests and the main thing is sharing the day (weekend) with our guests. Nobody remembers flowers or chairs or pew accents. Everyone remembers the hilarious best man toast!

Post # 7
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, you’re not the only one.  I wasn’t into it either.  I didn’t want to spend a lot on my dress, flowers, wedding, etc.  We didn’t have a e-party, but did take e-pics only because it came with our $450 package.  My sister-in-law and a couple of friends did a surprise spa bridal shower that was really simple and I didn’t even want that.  We ending up doing an elopement type wedding with just our immediate family and it was perfectly us. I don’t regret it at all.  We saved a lot of money for our rings and our new townhome that we bought a few months after we got married.

Post # 8
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@adriskill: @risingsun:  You sound just like me! Yes I grew up wanting to wear a pretty dress and wanting to get married. But I never dreamed of a princess wedding because lets face it, I’m no princess! We are doing everything we can to keep our costs down. Having a buffet line with hamburgers and hot dogs. No place settings. And we will have some keg beer but everything else is a cash bar.

I know people will complain and talk about what they would and wouldn’t do (I will admit I am guilty of that). But it is our wedding and we will do it how we want!

P.S. I love this thread so far!


Post # 9
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!  Never in my life did I ever think I was going to get married and I never had a VISION of a wedding…. but since getting engaged I have somewhat of a vision of how I want things and dont want things.  BUT GAWD it’s like an overload of “how things are done here”….. especially since we’re coming from two different tradition backgrounds… 

I bought a thing on GILT for our invitations half off… and someone told me this weekend the “etiquette” for weddings and something about the invitations and how they’re addressed and a piece of tissue .. and I was like whaaaa??????  WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!!? and some of the other stuff I just dont’ understand!!!!!  I’m doing everything as I go right now… and though I may get weird looks when I say things like “Oh no… i don’t think we’re doing that.”… I really don’t care.. because I just want a huge party to celebrate our marriage and thats it!!

But I’m starting to realize how awesome it is that I came into this planning with zero prenotions of how things are suppose to be or “how i always dreamed of it” … because I’m not attached to any particular thing and my budget is all the heftier for it!! 🙂  And we’ve lost a venue and though I was frustrated with the whole situation, I wasn’t like “MY DREAM WEDDING IS RUINED”… more like frantic OH CRAP WE GOTTA FIND ANOHTER PLACE NOW.

Post # 10
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I tried to plan our wedding for a week.  Between booked up venues and insane costs for everything, we decided to elope in Vegas and then have an extra long honeymoon in the caribbean.  Big, expensive, over planned weddings are not for me.  Plan it how you like, enjoy your day!!!  and let Sally and Sue get over themselves.  😉

Post # 11
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

When my Fiance asked what my dream wedding was I said going to Las Vegas or down to the Justice of the Peace. I NEVER ever imagined my wedding or anything related to it. And now…. its seems like a huge pain and a waste of money. But, by FH wants it so Im sucking it up and spending hard earned dollars for him.

Got my invitations on sale at Michaels and some more off eBay. We will be using 2 different invitations. Maybe Ill try to make sure his side gets all the same ones. My dress is vintage and got it off eBay. My wedding band was my grandmas and I am using the centerpieces that are free from our venue.

And, yes, we are doing a buffet of comfort foods like mashed potatos and mac n cheese.

Im right there with ya sista!

Post # 12
3666 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@adriskill:  good for you! I hope that you will be able to relax and have fun in the days leading up to your wedding rather than running around trying to control how everyone acts, thinks, what they wear, etc. And on your wedding day it should be super-fun!

Post # 13
9120 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Same here!  As long as my loved ones are there and I end up married to my best friend, it’s all good.  We’re skipping engagement pictures, engagement parties, bridal showers, place settings, bridal party, blah blah blah.  Dress is a $100 sheath from Macy’s, invitations will be emailed through Paperless Post, flowers will be out of my parents’ huge garden…

Why then have I gotten addicted to this website??!?!  And I do love looking at pictures of fun celebratory colorful decor on Pinterest….

Post # 14
11161 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
@ms.jellen:   I never had a VISION of a wedding…. but since getting engaged I have somewhat of a vision of how I want things and dont want things

I was the same way. Before getting engaged I never put any thought into what I wanted or how I wanted it. I told my DH that I refused to be one of those girls that had a “binder” before she was engaged. Not judging those girls but for me personally that would have only made waiting more difficult.

After we started looking at rings that all changed. I went from not knowing to knowing waaaay too much. We went over board yeah I admit it. We could have bought a house and instead had an amazing wedding which neither of us regret. To each their own. 🙂

Post # 15
649 posts
Busy bee

WOW I feel so much more relieved that I have bees that I can relate to on this. For the month that Ive been on this board, I read posts of persons who were worried about the decorations being right and having a guest list of 500 and all I would think of was wow. Is that what getting married is all about.

There are some people who are into the whole celebration and flare and I wont take that away from them one bit because everyone has different tastes but I find myself being the more practical type looking at starting my married life not in debt and making sure its something that my Fiance and I will love and not worrying about what others will say. 

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