(Closed) Am I the only one?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i didn’t really have a specific scenario in mind for my proposal. of course i wondered how he’d do it, but i didn’t really have any expectations and i’m glad i didn’t. there wasn’t anything fancy about the way my husband proposed. it was low key and simple and it was perfect.

Post # 4
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@GamerGirl:  i never thought about how he would do it but he did it really big and i never expected that at all he threw an engagement party surprise after he proposed with all our family and friends. i never saw that coming lol

Post # 5
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I never really cared that much about my proposal. My only wants were that it couldb’t be in his bedroom (but “it can be in the driveway, for all I care”… guess where it was?), I didn’t want anyone there, and he had to do it “properly” on one knee and say some form of “Will you marry me?”

It’s not like I would’ve said no, though… unless he asked in front of lots of people. Then the social anxiety might have kicked in, which usually means I say no to everything. 

Post # 6
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@GamerGirl:  Getting engaged was something my spouse and I discussed as rational adults and made the decision to do.  There’s no reason he should have perform some kind of grand gesture (that frankly would make us both uncomfortable) to ask me to marry him.  It’s a decision we made together.

That said, we did end up buying a ring (which we chose together) despite my reluctance.  I don’t like the symbolism behind it, but unfortunately not everyone we know has the same feelings about that sort of thing, and Fiance did not want to go against the grain.  His BIL told us that our engagement wasn’t real until he put a ring on my finger.  And when we took a trip to their town specifically to pick up said ring, he later asked “so how did he propose?”  We tried to explain that he didn’t propose, we just picked up the ring.  *We* decided to get married.

He has decided that the proposal happened on the patio of the club where we had dinner that night.  Feh.

Post # 7
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee

I want to be engaged.  I don’t care about the actual proposal, aside from having a couple of specific things that I don’t want to have happen (don’t want kneeling, not cool with the “asking for permission/blessing of father/parents” bit).

Post # 8
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

want to be engaged.  I don’t care about the actual proposal, aside from having a couple of specific things”

^ this.

We have talked about it extensively together, however he wants to do it ‘properly’ and in his own way. All I have asked is that he doesn’t go overboard or do it in front of lots of people. We’re both very private people and however it happens it will be a special moment for both of us.

Post # 9
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I don’t have a scenario per se, but I would like my SO to put some thought and effort into it. This is his second marriage and I want to get married at City Hall (Manhattan Marriage Bureau). No lavish wedding, no parents, just me and him, so it would be nice if he did something that requires planning but I have nothing in mind. The marriage date is already set for next year. I want a really nice ring so that’s the hold up. We’re practical people…

Post # 10
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

@LittleWigeon:  agree re: privacy! The idea of a crowd cheering us on or a “jumbotron” moment makes me cringe 🙁

Post # 11
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have no requirements. We are a low-maintenance couple, so I doubt there will be a big production, and I wouldn’t want one. All I need to see is him; all I need to hear is the question.  Honestly, even the asking isn’t absolutely necessary, but a part of me warms at the thought of hearing him say the words.

Post # 12
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t care about my proposal either. I just want us to be married!

I saw this pin on Pinterest where it says “I only have four requirements: I need you to hire a photographer, ask my parents permission, completely surprise me and use my full name” Gag.

Post # 13
Member
24 posts
Newbee

I don’t like proposals.

We sometimes talk about getting married and I imagine at some point that conversation will end with “now is a good time, let’s call the town hall and make an

appointment”.

I don’t care about being engaged, if it didn’t happen automatically during the time you’re waiting for the appointment, I’d never be engaged.

Post # 14
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@GamerGirl:  

I love being engaged.

We’ve been engaged for over a year now and we will be for another year and a half. There is no rush to get married at all. Sometimes I even forget that there is a wedding looming around the corner next year and suddenly I get an email from the venue  and it’s like, holy crap, that’s right! We’re getting married. I am excited for it, but I am LOVING this stage in life.

I love being engaged so much.

Post # 15
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

I don’t have a dream proposal really… I want my SO to do it in his own special way. That said, he should damn well know that I hate crowds/being on the spot/ having people ask me a bunch of questions! haha.

To address your other question, I want to experience both being engaged and being married. It seems like being engaged and having a fiance you are looking forward to spending your life with is something to savor, too. I mean, I do love him enough that I’d elope today, but still I want to take my time and have a long ish engagement.

Post # 16
Member
2131 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I prefer the marriage over the getting engaged part…he can propose to me with a twist tie… I’m just looking forward to being married to this awesome man.

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