(Closed) am i the only one?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

if my husband could go through it for me, he would. but, i wouldn’t want him to. there is a special bond that only a mother and child has… it’s worth it all.

Post # 4
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I felt that way for YEARS… especially when i was still teetering between wanting kids or not. I was scared of the pain, the physical changes and everything that comes with it. I was Jealous of men for not having to go through it but still reaping the benefits. BUT one day something clicked for me after i got married… I realized that pregnancy and pregnant women are beautiful! This site has showed me how glamorous and exciting and special that pregnancy can be. My Darling Husband will be jealous that he doesnt have those 9 months to bond withour baby like I will have. It suddenly became worth it to me.  πŸ™‚  We’re not TTC just yet, but i’m excited for al the good & “bad” that comes with it!  maybe you’ll warm up to the idea soon…?  that could just be me though!

ETA: I’m only 25

Post # 6
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I get that you are feeling this way. In black and white…the way you so beautifully put into words how many of of us have felt. But after having my daughter, trust me…we as women are the lucky ones. Really!

Post # 7
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@sugarcube:  I feel like if you go into thinking that you are going to hate pregnancy, then you probably will. Ya you cant have sushi or a few glasses of wine, but I feel like if you really want a baby then those things done matter.

 

Post # 8
Member
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I definitely used to feel that way, but over time I started to change my mind. I still think it sounds terrifying sometimes but I’m coming around now… sure, I hate the thought of giving up wine for 9 months, or having stretch marks and being sick, tired and uncomfortable. But I can’t wait to have our very own baby in my arms and I know I will be proud of myself for doing it.

Post # 9
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sugarcube:  I felt that way until around 23-ish..  then after getting engaged it turned into “well i guess if i want kids this is gonna be what i gotta do”.. then it turned into “omg i guess its okay, i’ll be thankful” (that was at 25.)

The one thing that these boards have taught me is that motherhood/pregnancy is a miracle, and a gift and we gotta suffer for it I guess… It took me a long time to get to that point of being incredibly thankful to even have a uterus! (my friend had a hysterectomy). No one can say anything to convince you… it’ll just happen  πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
10574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Don’t forget that we’re the lucky ones who have to deal with menstruation as well.  Yell

Yeah, I think in many ways we got the short end of the stick, but technology and even society have made it better over time.

There’s also many husbands/SOs out there who do realize this, so they do what they can to make it easier.

Post # 11
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@abc123joanna:  this

Honestly you’re mind probably won’t change until you actually have a child. While I never felt the way that you do I know people who have felt that way & everything changed when they had a child. Personally I loved being pregnant. I can’t wait to ttc for #2. I never felt there was anything unfair about it, my fi is amazing. We went through it together & we are raising our dd together. If there’s an emergency sometimes he leaves work sometimes I do. She’s sick we figure out who should stay home. Being a team makes a huge difference.  

Post # 12
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I’m 26 and 10 weeks pregnant… I feel some of those things. Honestly, I have no desire to drink alcohol, and I allow myself 1-2 caffeinated beverages per week- but my body really doesn’t like it (even just a chai!). It was like a switch went off in my brain that turned off my desire to want what I shouldn’t have. My husband says I went into “mommy-mode” immediately. I don’t care what he eats or drinks, but he tries to make me jealous anyway. Oh, and for sushi, you can still have veggie sushi πŸ™‚ 

But… the physical stuff is unpleasant, to say the least, and I’m really not looking forward to stretchmarks and tearing and all of that. I’m taking one day at a time and trying to find joy in it all. 

To me, having a kid is worth it, so I’m doing it!

Post # 13
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

@sugarcube:  I guess I don’t care about the stretch marks/fatness because I already am overweight, and already have stretch marks, lol. Really, your body is going to start sagging eventually. You could try to keep it firm and awesome if you plan on running 5-10 miles every day and sticking to a mostly raw-vegan diet. You’d have to go to extremes to keep everything tight and fit once you hit your late 30’s/early 40’s.

 

My concerns are more job/life related. For example the problems/lack of maternity leave and how the child is ultimately the responsibility of the mother, regardless of how involved the father parent may be. 

 

Don’t be too hard on yourself though! You probably just aren’t ready to start considering having kids yet. πŸ™‚ When I was 24, I hated kids. PURE HATE. Everytime I heard one scream in a grocery store, I wanted to rip out my ears. I thought they were sticky little b*stards that sucked the joy, life and money out of their parents. But then, as soon as I hit 27, something happened, like a light switch. BOOM. Baby fever. Now i’m obsessed with wanting/having/TTC. Don’t worry about it, when you’re ready, you’ll know. 

Post # 15
Member
9190 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I bet your priorities will shift a little when you get older. And while you feel this way, there’s no rush to have a kid. 

Post # 16
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t know. I’ve always felt bad for men that they don’t have the option to go through pregnancy. Sure some of it sucks, but it seems like such an amazing thing to me and worth every single downside to grow a life inside of you and have that bond with your baby so early on. I’ve been excited to be pregnant since I was like…4 years old lol. I’m 25 now and I can’t wait to conceive…I will be waiting a couple years to enjoy the first couple years of marriage with my husband, save up some money for a house, etc, but if babies were free, I may have had one years and years ago, lol

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