Post # 1
DD is 4.5 months old and does not STTN – I have had 3 mommies, just today, figuratively shake their fingers at me for this…WTF? I was told today that my daughter “knows what she is doing” and that she has “learned how to control me.”
Right at 4 months, my girl did start STTN. She started sleeping for one long 9 hour stretch, woke up to eat, then back to sleep for 2 more hours or so – but then the poor girl got RSV and our schedule has been thrown off since. She sleeps for 5-6 hours then she’s up to eat…should I not be offering the boob and just leave her in her room to cry? I’m not a fan of CIO… I know ultimately I am her momma and should parent however I so choose, I guess I’m just looking for opinions. Is my girl the only 4.5 month old baby in the universe who is not STTN?
I know everyone has their own opinions… Hell, I got flack for not having her out of the Rock N Play @ 3 months. I guess someone will always have something to say no matter how you parent…LOL
Post # 3
It’s totally normal for a baby at that age to want to eat. If she is waking up just to eat, eating then foing right back to sleep, then she IS sleeping through the night. If she were like 1, I would say you should night wean, but at her age, no way! One feeding is not bad at all.
Follow your Mommy instinct, it is the best tool you will have. For reference, my child did not sleep all the way through the night without any feeds or wakeups until he was 9 months old.
Post # 4
UM I have a 23 month old who doesn’t STTN… That won’t happen for a long time. I HATE the CIO method. I agree with the PP. Follow your mommy instinct. I sincerely doubt a 4.5 month old has “learned to control you” Shes just hungry!
Post # 5
My son is three months and weighs 15lbs and still wakes up 3-4x/night to eat. My daughter was only up once a night at this age and weighed less. Every baby and their needs are different!
Post # 6
It took my daughter until 9 months to STTN. Screw them. All babies are different. A 4.5 month old doesn’t have the capacity to manipulate.
Have you set up a bedtime routine, though? It makes things much easier if you make a clear difference for babies between “day” and “night” IE not flicking on the TV for nighttime feedings, and not playing with them/speaking to them. Have you tried swaddling?
I’ve read that you’re not even supposed to START sleep training until 10-12 weeks, because their little tummies are too small to sleep for a long stretch.
Post # 7
@mrsjroo: You are NOT the only one. My DS will be 5 months next week, and he has never slept through the night. At his best, he would wake up twice to eat (every 4 hours), at his worst (this week), he’s up every 30 minutes – 2 hours screaming his head off inconsolably. I think it’s a mix of teething/sleep regression/not being able to swaddle anymore/transition to crib. But he’s miserable and so is Mommy 🙁
I’m not planning on doing any kind of sleep training until at least 6 months+ and probably even then it’ll be too early. At this age, if they’re waking up, it’s because they need something, whether it’s food, comfort…etc. I know it’s frustrating, but it will pass eventually. One day they’ll be teenagers and we won’t be able to get them out of bed!!
Post # 8
No, you’re not the only one, and if you’re not comfortable with CIO (I’m not either), then don’t do it. Babies do tend to have sleep regressions now and then, and one is right around 4 months. Combine that with RSV (poor girl) and she probably just needs her mommy more. If you’re okay with that, keep doing what you’re doing. To me, having my daughter trust and depend on me is more important at this stage than having her sttn.
Post # 9
@mrsjroo: it makes me so angry when moms are mean to each other. Your baby is not manipulating you. She’s definitely not old enough to understand how. Plus, only getting up to eat means she is sleeping through the night. You’re fine. Just keep doing what you’re doing. She sounds perfectly well adjusted.
Post # 10
Thank you so much for your feedback, ladies! I am glad to hear I’m not the only one who doesn’t have a freak-of-nature-baby-that-has-slept-through-the-night-since-8-weeks For the record, I’m actually ok with getting up with her in the middle of the night. I bring her back to bed with me to nurse and we get lots of cuddles. Sometimes we even do a little *GASP* co-sleeping. She is only going to be this little for a short period of time and I want to take it all in before she’s all grown up. If that means being a little sleep deprived for a few months then so be it!
We do have a bedtime routine and she is pretty good at putting herself to sleep (with a little help from the swaddle sack and our soothe and glow seahorse!!). We are trying to transition out of the swaddle though because she is rolling like crazy. But, the few nights we have put her down in just footed PJs, she woke up angry every 2 hours because she had rolled herself into the corner of the crib somehow. So we are sticking with the swaddle for now. We’ll figure this sleep thing out someday!
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
@mrsjroo: All babies are different. My son was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks and he never broke that. he was an unbelievably easy baby when it came to his schedule. BUT… my cousins son refused to sleep through the night until he was about 18 months. My little sister (she is 18 years my junior) did not sleep through the night completely until she was 2. dont’ let anyone make you feel bad, you are mama and you will know your child best. I think what you described sounds pretty average 🙂
Post # 12
DD is a week younger than yours and she isn’t STTN and I am far from stressing about it. She sleeps from about 8PM-5AM, has a bottle and sleeps till 8AM. If she isn’t STTN at about 8 months I will probably calmly do something about it. Nothing too harsh like CIO.
Post # 13
Don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but neither of my kids are sleepers. The oldest was 3 before she slept though the night with any consistency. My youngest is 2 1/2 and she still doesn’t. Each child is different and the other mothera are mean for making you feel bad.
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Post # 16
My DD won’t sleep at all unless we bedshare. She’s been that way from birth and is now almost 4 months old. I had a complete stranger scold me the other day and tell me I spoiled my baby. You can’t spoil a baby that young, they’re too young to know how to manipulate at this age.
Eventually everyone will STTN, it just takes different time for different babies.