(Closed) Am I the only one bothered by tipping?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@FoxyBride14:  I would double check with your caterer about the 20%.  My catering charged me a 23% fee, but when I asked it turns out the 5% was for the set up/tear down and the 18% was gratuity.  Also, I’ve read that if your vendor owns his/her business that you do not need to tip.  I completely agree with you on “expected” tips, it’s a bit ridiculous.

Post # 4
1285 posts
Bumble bee

As a photographer, the only time I was tipped was when I was photographing a wedding where I was required to be gone for an entire weekend and shot ALL DAY and provided my services longer for free because I was there the entire weekend. (Venue located at the hotel I was staying at) OR I will get tipped by a wealthy family unexpectedly.  (a huge wedding)…but that is just them being nice, it’s not necessary or expected.

Photographers don’t typically get tipped.  I never expect to get tipped


Post # 5
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@FoxyBride14:  I feel the exact same way. Tips will go out afterwards, AFTER I experience the service and only IF they do a good job. I know I’ll get called cheap or rude or whatever, but I think a tip is for someone who went above and beyond.

I agree especially with catering. We have:

a per plate charge + delivery + culinary staff + service + they charge to cut the cake + rentals (they don’t include flatware, glassware or dinnerware) + linen rental

Post # 6
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@rickhurst35:  Really????? Out of all the vendors I’ve met with, I feel like my photographers and my DJ would be the ones to get a tip from us. I feel as if they really would go above and beyond.

Post # 7
1285 posts
Bumble bee

@Chrysoberyl:  I think it’s a personal decision if you want to tip your photographer or DJ. I’ve received a few from clients, but not all the time. I don’t expect it from my clients. I just think of it as a nice gesture from my clients. The ones that have tipped me treated me and my 2nd shooter like family the entire day and it was much appreciated. These were ones that actually sat us at family tables during the receptions too instead of not seating us at all. 


Post # 8
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

It’s probably bad etiquette of me, but I didn’t go out of my way to tip anyone. Out of the whole wedding, every vendor except the venue was an individual person running their own business who set their own pricing. The venue (who catered) included 20% gratuity in their price. All any of my vendors asked for was to review them on weddingwire, which I did.

If there were any assistants or staff running around working for a vendor, I might have tipped because they don’t get a say in how much they are paid, but there weren’t. *shrug*

Post # 9
6110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly, the only vendor(s) I forsee possibly getting a tip would be the DJ. I wouldn’t tip the photographer because I haven’t seen the final product. That’s like tipping your waitress before even sitting down for dinner.

The catering already has a 20% service/gratuity fee included…that is their tip. Same with the bartender. Now, if ppl decide to tip the bartender on top of that, that’s their choice.

Everyone else is already being paid a hefty price to provide their services. Most of my vendors are also the company owner so I don’t feel as bad.

Post # 11
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We tipped my maitre d’, our head waiter, head bartender, band, and limo driver for sticking around a little longer than contracted. Maitre d’, head waiter, and head bartender got tipped before the reception started to ensure that our service will be impeccable, and it was! I don’t have a single complaint.

Post # 12
13289 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You should check with your vendors, because more often than not, that service charge is not actually a tip. Tipping is at your discretion, additional to your bill.  A lot of times the service charge covers the set up and tear down work associated with your event, and that money is not going to the servers or kitchen staff.

Post # 13
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FoxyBride14:  That is completely ridiculous.  As a former server, that comment would irritate me. I busted my butt to give excellent service so it grinds my gears when people just expect a tip without even doing anything first.

We are tipping our caterer because the gratuity is not included in their price and their statement said that “Gratuity for excellent service is appreciated.” That’s much classier IMO. 

Post # 14
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@FoxyBride14:  What vendor told you this? Tips shouldn’t be given until the job is completed and unless that vendor goes above and beyond, I wouldn’t be tipping. And to me, he’d have to make up for the comment because that’s just rude. Even people who do deserve a tip have no right demanding a good one.

Post # 15
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I hate tipping period. I don’t get tipped to excel at my job, and I don’t even benefit from going above and beyond (aka getting positive reviews and gaining future customers). The only people I am okay with tipping are waitresses/bartenders/etc…people who literally have their pay cut because they are in tipped positions. I recently went on a helicopter tour (obviously NWR) and the little shuttle thing had a “tips are greatly appreciated” sign. I spent almost $200 for 15 minutes!! Why on earth would I tip you??

Post # 16
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think the only person we’re planning to tip is the DJ. I am not tipping our photographer. She owns her own business and we are paying her a TON of money. All al our servers and our bartender will be tipped through their service charge (I’m assuming). Otherwise, what is it for???

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