(Closed) Am I the only one that finds this kind of racist?

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 47
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

To those bashing the woman for what she said and praising the guy for what he said… would you say the same thing if the roles were reveresed? A black woman writes a letter about why white men go after black women, and out of anger bashes white women. Then a white man writes back and explains why he could never be with anyone like her (while sterotyping black women) and could only date his WHITE queen.

I have a feeling there would be a different response, and there shouldn’t be.

It doesn’t matter if the guy IS standing up for AA women, he should NOT do it at the expense of another group of women. Seriously ladies, we are ALL women, it should not matter WHAT color your skin is! It is NEVER right for ANYONE to put down a group of women to defend another!

Clearly the white girl is NOT racist (she is marrying a black man) but clearly she’s had issues with racism towards her by SOME black women, and that made her do a very foolish and tasteless thing, which is obviously only going to add fuel to the fire and continue the circle of hate! And that guy’s response isn’t going to do anything but make it appear as if there is really a gap between the two groups. I seriously doubt that guy is racist either, likely just offended and makes a poor call in what he writes. That right there is one of the biggest problems. You can’t fight a sterotype with a sterotype!

It is like the stupid fat girl vs skinny girl that gets spammed on my FB. Seesh… doesn’t matter your skin color, your size, your shape. We’re all women and all that matters is our hearts. We should be able to love who we love without feeling the need to justify it or belittle anyone in the process. Not every black girl wants to marry a white guy, not every white girl wants to marry a black man and vice versa. It shouldn’t matter WHO you want to marry (and I literally mean that… race OR gender) but sadly we live in a world that seems insistant on a YOU vs ME attitude. (Though luckily more people who think in terms of “WE” are becoming more and more common!)

I’d also like to point out that it isn’t always intention that you need to go off of. Perception is also pretty important. I do NOT think it was the INTENTION of the woman to belittle ALL AA women, and I do NOT think it was her INTENTION to come off as a white supremist. She was obviously just angry, but it is the perception that she IS doing those things that is important. I do not think it was the INTENTION of the guy to stereotype all white women as docile, submissive, and easy, but it does come off that way. The main issue with his letter is that, while in response to a particular letter, he DOES generalize about ALL white women. Even if it is to prove a point, he’s running the risk of offending others – a risk he either ignored or didn’t realize he had.


As for your friend: It was totally rude. Not sure why she’s acting this way, who knows really. It is a horrible situation to be in, and I’d imagine very uncomfortable. Congrats on your engagement. Try not to let this bother you!

Post # 48
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Thorns-n-Roses:  this exactly. I have been “that white girl” in an interracial relationship, and am tired of the notion that we should just suck it up and deal because there’s a whole long standing history we just don’t understand. Whatever. I heard that sooooo many times. If anyone is genuinely bothered/defensive about who someone else is dating in this day and age, they need to seek counseling and work past it. There is nothing to understand about resenting one race for dating another, I don’t careif you’re black, white, or green with polka dots. 

Post # 50
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@allyfally:  Holy guacamole! The girl who wrote in was being a snot and somewhat racist/sexist against black females. The guy who wrote in was incredibly racist, and clearly not about racial equality, but black superiority. He essentially called all white women sluts, controllable, and stupidly behind on the evolutionary chain. That was not only insanely offensive, but insanely sexist, as if women have to be a certain way to be worth anything.  I understand he was probably mad about the white girl’s attitude and retaliated, but to respond to racism with even more racism + sexism is incredibly low.  He might not think any of those things in real life and was just saying them to make a point, but it makes no difference.  That’s like mocking the holocaust to a Jew who is being a jerk, not because you mean or believe it, but to make them feel bad. Not OK, under any circumstances.

Her posting that directly to YOUR wall basically took all of the racism that guy had, and directed it straight at you. I would absolutely give her a response that makes it clear that you won’t be inviting, and why. Completely ridiculous. I think she is pissed and jealous.

Post # 52
855 posts
Busy bee

Wooooooow. I read all of that.

Um… I just don’t get how race is even an issue these days.

What happened to dating people because of, you know, their personality and sense of humour?

Just because some girl’s ancestor looked after children, doesn’t mean she’ll be a good mother. Likewise, just because some girl’s ancestor didn’t look after her children, doesn’t mean she’ll be a terrible mother.

All these issues are to do with the past – some people really need to get over that and just focus on the people in the present.

OP, please just delete this girl from your FB. Not. Worth. It.

Post # 53
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC


I, as a black woman, am sick of all of this mess. I read that stupid letter a while ago  as its been circulating on FB and the only people that would make feel better are insecure white women and insecure black women. 

I am tired of hearing that black women are this this this and this and thats why we (black men) go for white women. I think the first time I heard that I was 10 and I havent stopped hearing it. It used to irritate me, make me mad but hell … I am 25 years old now I have a great/amazing/incredible African American fiance and learnt that I dont want a black man who talks about black women like that so why do I care? If he can say all that mess knowing that the women who gave birth to him is a black woman, his sisters, grandmother … all black … well, hes damaged good anyway …. bye bye. And if your off somewhere telling a white woman this then good luck to the both of you … the man obviously has no character and youre welcome to him.  I dont know why black women who respect themselves would even be up in arms about this anymore. 


As for the reverse, is it surprising that the man who calls black women out their name will then turn around and cheat on his white woman … no … not cos they’re easy but simply cos hes an ass!! I will tell you now, I have had three or four white woman come up to my face and say “see … thats why black men dont like you” but thats three or four … it doesnt apply to the whole race. Needless to say the three or four were also classy, tacky and pathetic on the whole and yes there guy did eventually leave them/ cheat on them.  


The problem here is that we as women need to have more respect for ourselves and each other, black and white, and stop fighting for the attention of a butthole. Get a good man, stay away from the bad ones and stop disrespecting each other. Posts like these do not make me feel like i “won” anything. Its nice the brother has a positive view on black women but thats the way its supposed to be and he didnt need to disrespect white women or any woman to get there



Post # 54
8683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@allyfally:  both letters sound ridiculous and all you have to do is block your friend. It will delete her and u wont have to see her posts or hear from her.

Post # 55
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m black, my best friend is white, she only dates black guys. I don’t care who she dates as long as she is happy. I would never leave this on her FB page! It’s a very rude thing to do.

I will say this OP, if you and your friend are close, she may have felt comfortable with you not realizing that it may be hurtful to you. She probably has stereotypes but because you grew up together she doesn’t think that you fit into the stereotype of “the white girls” mentioned in the article.

As other bees have said I don’t think the man mean to offend all white women, just the white woman who wrote the original article (and any others who think that way) He didn’t do a good job and offended just as many women as the original article.

If you value he friendship you should talk to her.

Post # 56
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

She is jealous…period. She must be having a hard time finding A good man. 

Tell her she should be more open, statistics show the most successful marriages ( lowest divorce rates) are between black women and white men. She is she gets off her high horse then lol

Post # 57
11297 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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Post # 58
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Wow. That is so completely racist.


I deal with this but in the reverse. I’m part black and my Fiance  is white. Black men find me alluring for whatever reason, probably because i dont *look* all black (im half Asian), and what i often get is, “why are you with a white man? I can take care of you better.”



Im sorry your friend doesnt get it. I am not trying to generalize because i know not all black women do it…but there is this thing about *losing all the good black men* and resenting any race who does get those *good black men*. I dont get it, and she should not be generalizing with you, as well. The white women i know are highly opinionated, not easy at all, and i love them all the same. Why does color matter in 2013?

Post # 59
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think both sides of the discussion were being racist. The white woman continued to basically bash black women and the black man continued to bash white women.

It’s sad that in 2013 so many people still judge others simply by the color of their skin. And to completely disregard others heritage and think that their ancestors always had food handed to them on silver platters aggrivates me as well since I’m native american but look white and get those comments from time to time. But I wont go into depth on that one. 


I KNOW that every black woman is not like what has been listed above. Whomever dates women like that is looking only at specific types of women. Same thing goes for the white women discussed.


I dated a bunch of abusive men in my earlier days and my mom did too. Does that mean all men are abusive, or all white men are abusive, or all men with dark hair are abusive? Nope, just means I was choosing the ones that were. You can tell a lot about a person in the first month of dating, even the day you meet them. I chose the type to be abusive until I changed my criteria. But to limit it to race is annoying to say the least.


It’s 2013, I don’t know why race is still such a huge issue! 

Post # 60
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@futuremrsk18:  Is there such a thing as reverse racism? Isn’t this just straight up racism? Or are white people the only ones who can be racist? 

OP your friend is a racist who clearly does not support your relationship but doesn’t know how to put it into her own words. It’s passive agressive BS.

Post # 61
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You need to message this friend and tell her heck no she isn’t invited. how rude. Unfriend her. I would go bat sh!t crazy on her for posting it on your wall. What a B!

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