- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
To those bashing the woman for what she said and praising the guy for what he said… would you say the same thing if the roles were reveresed? A black woman writes a letter about why white men go after black women, and out of anger bashes white women. Then a white man writes back and explains why he could never be with anyone like her (while sterotyping black women) and could only date his WHITE queen.
I have a feeling there would be a different response, and there shouldn’t be.
It doesn’t matter if the guy IS standing up for AA women, he should NOT do it at the expense of another group of women. Seriously ladies, we are ALL women, it should not matter WHAT color your skin is! It is NEVER right for ANYONE to put down a group of women to defend another!
Clearly the white girl is NOT racist (she is marrying a black man) but clearly she’s had issues with racism towards her by SOME black women, and that made her do a very foolish and tasteless thing, which is obviously only going to add fuel to the fire and continue the circle of hate! And that guy’s response isn’t going to do anything but make it appear as if there is really a gap between the two groups. I seriously doubt that guy is racist either, likely just offended and makes a poor call in what he writes. That right there is one of the biggest problems. You can’t fight a sterotype with a sterotype!
It is like the stupid fat girl vs skinny girl that gets spammed on my FB. Seesh… doesn’t matter your skin color, your size, your shape. We’re all women and all that matters is our hearts. We should be able to love who we love without feeling the need to justify it or belittle anyone in the process. Not every black girl wants to marry a white guy, not every white girl wants to marry a black man and vice versa. It shouldn’t matter WHO you want to marry (and I literally mean that… race OR gender) but sadly we live in a world that seems insistant on a YOU vs ME attitude. (Though luckily more people who think in terms of “WE” are becoming more and more common!)
I’d also like to point out that it isn’t always intention that you need to go off of. Perception is also pretty important. I do NOT think it was the INTENTION of the woman to belittle ALL AA women, and I do NOT think it was her INTENTION to come off as a white supremist. She was obviously just angry, but it is the perception that she IS doing those things that is important. I do not think it was the INTENTION of the guy to stereotype all white women as docile, submissive, and easy, but it does come off that way. The main issue with his letter is that, while in response to a particular letter, he DOES generalize about ALL white women. Even if it is to prove a point, he’s running the risk of offending others – a risk he either ignored or didn’t realize he had.
As for your friend: It was totally rude. Not sure why she’s acting this way, who knows really. It is a horrible situation to be in, and I’d imagine very uncomfortable. Congrats on your engagement. Try not to let this bother you!