(Closed) Am I the only one who doesn't want a traditional bachelorette party?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Do/did you want a bachelorette party?

    Yes, a traditional one that includes bar hopping and the works!

    Yes, but something more low key like a girls night in

    Nope, don't want one at all

    Other (will explain below)

  • Post # 47
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I have said from moment one that I do not want strippers, or any sexually based dares. If my Maid/Matron of Honor wants to arrange for us to learn to burlesque dance, or something, that’s fine, as long as there are NO MEN. I’m all up for a bit of public humiliation eg being made to drink shots whilst dressed as a bridezilla monster, but I don’t do sexual titilation in front of strangers.

    I’m British, **** it! We don’t do public nudity etc.

    Post # 48
    960 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Tarheelgurl:  I have had to reiterate numerous times to my MoH NO STRIPPERS, NO CLUBS.

    If I could plan my own I’d have a night in eating junk food, high sugar and alcohol drinks and watching stupid movies 🙂

    Post # 49
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Dude… I’m too old for that stuff. I stopped clubbing a few years ago and when I go out to bars now I’m just annoyed at all the people! I plan to do a spa day in Palm Springs… maaaaaybe followed by some drinks at a bar there. SOME drinks and A bar. None of this bar hopping nonesense. 

    Post # 50
    4997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I definitely don’t want something “traditional.” Luckily, my sister (MOH) will only be 19 so we can’t go to the clubs, I’m off the hook! Not sure what we’re going to do, maybe a nice dinner and stay the night in a hotel. I would love to do a spa day, but that would be pretty expensive.

    Post # 51
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I was actually thinking of doing something dorky, like going to an amusement park for a day, or having a picnic at a local botanical garden, or spending a night at a B&B outside of the city and having a BBQ outside. There is a particular club that I like going to occasionally, but a lot of my friends aren’t really into that sort of thing, so I think we’d have a lot more fun doing something else.

    Post # 52
    1478 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

    When i had to organise a friends bachelorette party (complete with bunny ears) I decided I would have a spa day 

    Post # 53
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    You are not alone. I told my BM’s that if I see pink or the slightest hint of a plastic penis, I’m leaving.


    Post # 54
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Tarheelgurl:   i felt like i was reading my own post!!!

    I almost argue with my coworkers (females) who yell at me for only wanting to get pampered and then go to a bar with live jazz and sip a few with my friends. Thankfully my best friend and moh is on the same page as me so if the other girls want to grind and embarrass themselves, they can do it on their own terms haha. 

    Have the bachelorette party you want! 

    Post # 56
    1511 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Tarheelgurl:  I’m not planning to have any showers or parties of any kind … And that includes a bachelorette party.

    I’m 28 and I still enjoy going out to bars with my friends once in a while, but I still wouldn’t want a wild, crazy night complete with random penis-shaped items.  No thanks.

    The reason I’m not having any type of shower/party is that the 3 people in my bridal party all live very far away (the closest is around 800 miles away and the other two are 1000+ miles away).  I don’t want other friends I have in my area to feel like they should throw me some sort of shower or party even though they’re not in the wedding party … I just wouldn’t feel right about it.

    Post # 57
    1621 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    pshhhh I have never enjoyed the penis-party thing.  My SIL was gung-ho that I needed to do it that way but it was neeever gonna happen.  We ended up all at my sister’s apartment, we hired a henna artist to do mehndi for everyone, and we drank there (at some point we ran out to grab a pizza as I recall). I was thrilled–I wanted to be able to talk to my friends at my party!

    Post # 58
    15 posts
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I had my hen night last night and it was awful.


    I wish I had organised it myself and had someting like a tea party or a spa day which is what I would have wanted.


    My mum organised a meal (I told her I wanted a low key do, with nothing trashy).When I got there, there were loads of horrendous plastic willies, L plates and crap like that. I also felt peer pressure to drink a lot which I hate. I am 28 and my ‘getting wasted’ days are over, which I am very happy about!

    I thought I had made it clear that I didn;t want that, but either I wasn’t clear enough or they ignored my wishes. I felt uncomfortable and humiliated and people taking lots of photos. There were my people from my fiances family there who I didn’t want to be embarassed in front of. 

    You would think that my own family would know me well enough to know I wouildn’t that. Despite all of that, the people who attended seemed fine and it wasn’t a total distaster in that respect.

    Because that wasn’t my cup of tea I get called ‘stuck up’ or ‘boring’ which feel is unfair. I would never organsed something like that for someone if I knew they didn’t want it.

    You need to be assertive and tell people what you want. People should respect your wishes and not make you feel uncomfortable. I felt bullied and disragarded and I am quite close to falling out with some of my family members over this. Good luck breaking the horrible rules of the traditional hen party, people don’t like it! 

    Post # 59
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    I was undecided but now that we are going away for the weekend for my bachelorette, I’m doing it all – spa, pool, nice dinner and a clubbing night.  So excited!!!

    Post # 60
    8481 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    We’re not doing the bachlore(tte) stuff. We’re going to have a night where we all (guys and girls) get together, have a dinner and then go bowling. So we can all get to know eachother and just chill out.

    Oh and their dates are invited as well.

    Post # 61
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    We live in Vegas so EVERYONE assumes you HAVE to go all out for bachelor/bachelorette nights. That couldn’t be farthers from what both Fiance and I want to do. We are both over the clubs and have been for awhile. (Im turning 29 on Tues and he is 27). So we are doing something fun that we both like. The boys are going paintballing, the girls are going to a dinner/show called Marriage Can be Murder at a hotel on Freemont street. Both of us have younger siblings in our wedding party (his brother is the best man and is 19, my sister is a Maid/Matron of Honor and is 16, and my brother is a groomsman and is 15). Then we are going to meet up at our house and the guys and girls are going to Stoney’s (a local country bar) together. It sounds cheesey but we both like line dancing and country so it’s what we both wanted and the girls are happy that their men can be part of the fun w us to!

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