(Closed) Am I the only one who doesn’t want to marry a Dr.?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
394 posts
Helper bee

I think that this thread has been picked up from some time ago 🙂

But yes, to echo the previous poster, it’s really normal here in the UK for people with PhDs to use Dr just as you would Mr/Mrs/Miss, etc. I am a PhD Dr, and just use the title as you would for any other reason (bank, bills, other boring stuff). I had no idea that it was an ‘issue’, if that makes sense. Also, I do find that I get treated as more of a ‘grown-up’ now that I’ve changed from Miss.

Post # 48
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@visorgirl:  Haha, yeah, I totally only clocked that after I posted! *sigh* Look before you leap is something I need to work on!


(also congrats on getting your PhD – seeing the work that’s going into my FH’s makes me admire academics all the more, because holy moly it’s a lot of work!)

Post # 49
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@BrightGreen:  No – it is sad.  I work with physicians and most of them don’t get in a huff when we don’t refer to them as doctors but sometimes the patients themselves are doctors and they want to be addressed as such and will rudely correct us when we say Mrs. or Miss. so-and-so.

To need that kind of validation on a constant basis from complete strangers is pathetic.

Post # 50
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have a PhD and in a professional setting I am indeed referred to as Dr. I work in a medical school and all of the MDs are also referred to as Dr. And there is no real reason to distinguish what type of Dr.s we are as we are all in academia.

Socially, I think it is weird for anyone to insist on being referred to as Dr. – it is pompous and unnecessary. Being a PhD or an MD should not have any relevance in a social setting.

Truly though, it is odd that MDs are considered to be “real” doctors as doctor in a traditional sense means a master in their feild. MDs are not masters in their feild as an MD is in fact a professional degree not a terminal degree, while PhDs are terminal degrees in each feild. 

Now an MD PhD – they are truly masters in their clinical field.


Post # 51
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My fiance is a medical doctor, but we are still using “Mr and Mrs” for everything wedding related. It truly does not matter. Even though he is a doctor, he can still be “Mr”

Post # 52
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

First world problems!

Post # 53
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

One of my friends is a Dr., and he actually gets uncomfortable when that title is used in non-work or education-related capacities. I call him “Mr.” He’s both simultaneously, though of course in general the “Dr.” usurps the “Mr.”

You can still use “Mr. and Mrs.” Who really cares? And most people don’t seem fully aware of the ‘rules’ in regards to those sorts of titles…of course, it depends on your social class.

Post # 54
394 posts
Helper bee

@chronicwhimsy:  Thank you 🙂 That is very sweet of you to say. And all the best to your fiance!

On the subject, yes, I do think that it’s rude if people get all ‘actually I’m a DOCTOR!’ about things. But I’ve never really encountered the ‘insist’ thing… how would that work- they demand to be known as ‘Dr Green’ amongst friends?! In my everyday life, the only time I get called Dr is on a letter!

Post # 55
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’m sure using Mr. wouldn’t be a problem.  Plus, I think it’s a little more weird when it’s the wife (not because they have a PhD, but because of the Mrs. – a man is a Mr. even if he’s not married)

My BF’s ex wife has a PhD and didn’t change her last name when they got married (before she completed her PhD), so once she had it, it was “Mr. Fishiefish and Dr. Phantom” (made up names, obviously).  And she *went* by Dr. and NOT Mrs.

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