(Closed) Am i the only one who hates Mr. and Mrs. John Smith?

posted 9 years ago in Names
Post # 3
2699 posts
Sugar bee

I”ve seen lots of posts of this nature so no, I assure you, you’re not the only one! 🙂

ETA: I should add that it doesn’t bother me in the least and I quite like it. I don’t feel as if i am losing my identity, but as a married woman, my identity is half of the partnership.

Post # 4
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

Oh, it’s definitely a pet peeve of mine. Seeing just “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith” makes me feel like the woman has disappeared. At the very least, she’s been reduced to “Mrs.” and that’s it. I hate getting mail addressed like that, especially considering I didn’t take DH’s last name. 

Post # 5
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I actually love it. I never get called it except on formal wedding invitations, darn it. I just love his name and I love being his Mrs! We just don’t have the kind of relationship where I would ever worry about being submerged, nor have I ever had a relationship with a man like that, so it’s just not an issue or concern of mine. I am trying to get him to go along with being called Mr. Magdalena but he won’t go for it 😉

Post # 6
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont see whats so bad about it. It doesnt make me any less me. Thats how I addressed all my wedding invites and thats how we were adressed on most of our wedding cards.

Post # 8
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I hate it except for when it has to do with formal stuff, when I’m okay with it.

Post # 9
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t like it. I think it should be Mr. and Mrs. Smith or John and Jane Smith. But I know the “formal” thing is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith because

Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith


Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith

are both too awkward. 


Post # 10
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I can’t stand it.  I’ve actually never been addressed this way because I’ve made my feelings on this issue well known.  I refuse to love my identity just because I’m married. To me it’s insulting to be only acknowledged as his wife and not my own separate person.

Post # 11
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I haven’t been addressed in this way — but stuff like this doesn’t usually bother me.  I did think this post was originally going to be a rant about the movie though haha– I was wondering why you were bringing it up so many years later.

Post # 13
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I can’t stand it either, but I have no idea how we’re being announced… any way but that ! :p 

Post # 15
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I guess I’m the odd (wo)man out. I love that sort of address. But then, Im old-fashioned in a lot of ways. It just sounds…stately.

Post # 16
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I detest it.

I am not simply an extension of my husband, he’s just LUCKY I want to take his last name. I wouldn’t get openly up in arms about it, but I would be miffed. We got an invite addressed to he and I as if we were already married (why? I dk…I guess bc we live together) and I was just like…”Here, this is for you.” I get that it’s etiquette, but it’s etiquette I am not the least bit fond of.

ETA: I suppose our invites will be confiscated by the etiquette police ;), but I’m not doing this on ours. I think it particularly irks me when my mom is addressed like this….because my mom is Dr. She is not “Mrs Joe Ya-Da-Ya-Da” She is DR. Mom Ya-Da-Ya-Da.

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