(Closed) Am I the only one whose guests didn't read the invitations?!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Did you have a separate insert with your reception information? When I see “Reception to follow”, I assume that the reception is at the same location as the ceremony.

Post # 4
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Oh man, how irritating!!  I hope the reception was awesome… once people got there.  >:(

Post # 5
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It really is amazing. I’m having the opposite issue (well only with one guest) – same venue for ceremony and reception but he asked my Dad was there transportation from the ceremony to the reception at the hotel. After some wtf?ing it was determined he somehow assumed that the ‘accomodation’ info on the hotel group rate was where the reception was. Never mind the front page clearly stating it was all happening at the estate where the ceremony is. The accomodation info was buried on the third page in.

 

People 🙂 gotta love them!

Post # 6
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry that doesn’t sound fun at all.  I usually think of “reception to follow” meaning it is at the same place as the ceremony.  “reception at_________” is what I have seen when it is held at another location.  It’s pretty sad though that people didn’t read the whole thing.  

Post # 7
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As crotchety as this sounds, I half expected my guests to do exactly what happened to you op, so I splurged for reception cards that spell it out in detail!People aren’t always as bright as we would like them to be lol

Post # 8
Member
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always assume “reception to follow” means it’s at the same venue.  I can see where the confusion came in, but it’s still really frustrating!

Post # 9
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah the confusion may be that the line: “Reception to follow” is usually added when a reception is held at the same place as the ceremony. If the reception is in a different location traditionally you do a seperate reception invitation with the ceremony invitation. So when they saw “reception to follow” they may not have keyed into the seperate address because they already made an assumption.

Glad that it didn’t take too long to sort out though!

Post # 10
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You would think that my Future Mother-In-Law would know at this point what time our ceremony starts at. Nope. Hasn’t a clue.

Post # 11
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You had two addresses inside your invitations and people couldn’t follow?  Poopy.

Some things are amazing.

We said black tie optional… still got some “summer beach party” attire out of that.  

Post # 12
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

For other bees with two locations, it’s probably not a bad idea to have directions to point B at point A- because you know people will lose their invites/forget to bring directions with them. (Guilty of that one! “How do we get to the reception from here?”)

Post # 13
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You know what OP – I bet if you had different wording, only 5 or so people would have clued in to it. You’d probably still have the same problem.

Large groups of people need to be herded. At my sister’s wedding there were buses waiting to take people over to the reception site, while family stuck around to take pictures. So the bridal party is standing around waiting for people to clear their seats so we can take pictures. Meanwhile the guests see us standing around and want to stand around with us. Then other guests see those guests standing around and they think it’s the standing around portion of the evening!! It’s so funny. We had to keep shooing them away and towards the buses.

Without a clear leader, people will think it’s standing around time. It doesn’t matter what your invites say. It doesn’t matter if there is a bus and bus driver staring at them 50 feet away. You need to find a person with a loud voice to designate as your guest-herder.

Post # 14
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that reception to follow suggests the same location….but I assume after that line you inlcuded “at XXXX address!”

 

Post # 15
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Personally I think “reception to follow” means “the reception is right after the ceremony in the same place” but I think that term can also be interpreted by different people in different ways. 

Regardless, no one reads their invitiations to the level that I’d read an exam study guide; people forget things, or get some weird idea stuck in their head, or hear what another guest says and get themselves confused. That just happens when you are dealing with people and not robots.

I’d 100% expect SOME people to get turned around a little on even the simplest of instructions, and plan accordingly; in the OP’s case, talking to the setup helper before hand to make sure she was clear on the routine, and adding a line to the programs/handing out a reception venue map/making a 15-second announcement after the ceremony would have been all that was needed to clear the confusion.

Moral of the story: plan for every possible “worst case scenario” and eliminate the crisis before it begins.

Post # 16
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

OP I think the error was in your wording, like many bees said. 

 

@pigzfly:  I think that once you put the word optional in there people just jump on that part and go with it. I want my wedding to be formal so we will state on the invites that it is formal.

 

@rebwana:  That’s a great idea, adding directions in the programs explaining when and where the reception is, should prevent any confusion.

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