Post # 1
I am always so afraid of being that person, who thinks they are friends with someone but in reality that person doesn’t like them…
Barb and I have known each other since high school (25 now). We were never super tight friends, but good friends, hung out a lot, also went to college together and we hung out more then. Since college we haven’t seen much of each other except at mutual friends events, and always do the “oh we should hang out!” dance.
anyway barb recently moved across the country to Seattle and had a going away party. I stopped by. She seemed happy to see me, we talked about keeping in touch, hugged, said goodbye. I sent her an email a few weeks later to just make sure we had one anothers contact info and said I’d still love if she could come to the wedding.
Her reply was super short, like “yes let’s definitely try to keep in touch” and she didnt month anything about wedding except “Oh wedding!! How exciting.” No like, “I will definitely try” or “I’d love to come but we’ll see.”
is she trying to tell me something? I feel like the annoying friend that nobody likes but won’t say to my face! I don’t wanna bug her or embarrass myself ? she doesn’t seem too into me .
Post # 3
You don’t seem clingy, but it seems like she’s not too keen on a long distance friendship that’s very involved. It definitely seems like she’s not planning on coming to a wedding across the country, which I don’t blame her for. My husband has friends who are getting married and are upset we aren’t coming…we have a child and aren’t rich. It’s just not in the cards to travel across the country.
Post # 4
I think you may be overthinking it a little, I can relate b/c I always worry too much about what others may be thinking lol. It sounds to me that she DOES want to stay in touch with you, otherwise I don’t see why she would have bothered saying anything or even responding to your email. If I were in her shoes and had just moved across the country, I would have to put traveling back for someone’s wedding (unless it were family or I were in the BP) at the bottom of my list of priorities. In no way would it be a slight against the bride and groom, but it looks like your wedding is next month and if she is just now moving she will definitely still be adjusting to her new life & not want to be worried about trying to fly back home in the middle of it. Maybe shoot her an e-mail in a week or two and see how everything is going in the new place!
Post # 5
I don’t think you’re being clingy, it just sounds like she’s a quick email type of person. Some people are super awkward via email. I wouldn’t sweat it, worst case she won’t come to your wedding.
Post # 6
You aren’t weird and clingy, but it does sound like you are more invested in the relationship than she is. I wouldn’t take it personally. Some people see friendships as the type of thing that come and go. Also with her recent move she may be trying to distance herself a bit to focus more on her new living situation. Some people handle change by focusing on the new and ignoring the things they miss.
Post # 7
You’re overthinking. Maybe she didn’t know yet if she would be able to come to your wedding so she didn’t wanna give you a definite yes or no.
Post # 8
Nah, I think you’re looking too much into it. I think people this the same thing about me in e-mails or texts. I usually keep them pretty short and I can seem like I’m not interested but I really am!
Post # 9
@MrsCreeToBe: i dont think that is the case. I mean she should be more direct with a response like “oh you know im not sure if i can make it or bla bla” or “see you there”. Sounds like she just kinda overlooked it or didnt really see it as a direct invititation (send one in the mail!) Sometimes i can be a bad friend in the fact that i get caught up with life and forget to reply to someone or just dont actively make plans to hang out with them – doesnt mean i dont want to! I would email her again soon
Post # 10
@MrsCreeToBe: You said she recently made a big move, so she is probably just busy (it took me forever to get my life in order when I moved states this past year… so many trips to the DMV, bank, etc.) and her life is so hectic right now that she isn’t really thinking about being able to come to a wedding. Even if she isn’t able to make it, I don’t think it means she doesn’t care about the friendship. Moving is expensive and time consuming for months after having physically made the move- it might just be tough for her to make it.
Post # 11
Did it ever occur to you that she’s busy setting up shop, getting acquainted with her new surroundings and still trying to make heads or tails of life since she’s just moved ACROSS THE COUNTRY?
Post # 12
She’s likely upset that you didn’t offer to rent her a room at the Econo Lodge, in exchange for her attendance.
Post # 13
@MrsCreeToBe: it’s possible that she was distracted when responding to the e-mail. I tend to give quick/short responses when I’m busy, just so I don’t forget to respond (which happens if I don’t do it immediately)