- 4 months ago
I don’t know who to turn to for advice anymore, I just need opinions. I need to know if I’m being overly sensitive or if I’m in the wrong. I’m going to try to keep this short as possible.
Husband and I have been bickering constantly for months. Over anything and everything. I feel like I bring up anything that challenges him, and he flips out. He can’t take any confrontation it seems. This is just background info because I think it’s relevant.
Husband took 15 days off work to go home for a family event (the event was one day but he wanted to just make a visit out of it since he hadn’t been home in a while). This was planned a few months ago and the plan was he would go home alone at first, catch up with friends and have some alone time, and then I would meet him for the second half of his trip. The weekend before he was set to leave, he was acting so strange. He seemed distant and it just felt like there was an attitude flip. We fought about this (another fight) and he ignored me for the whole weekend. Finally, he admitted he needed more alone time. So I said, “Okay, you should have just told me, we could have avoided this fight.” I was a little bothered, but we agreed to shorten my visit.
Husband goes to his hometown and barely keeps in touch with me. I don’t ask him to stay glued to his phone, but I did ask for a phone call each day. Whether it was the beginning of his day, the end of his day, whatever. I didn’t care, I just wanted for him to check in. Even after mentioning this multiple times, he never called. I brought this up to him via text and he flipped out, told me he was catching up with his friends and that he shouldn’t need to be on his phone with me 24/7… which I never asked him to do. We never fully resolved that argument but I was set to arrive a couple of days after this. When I did make it to his hometown, he met up with me 1.5 hours after we agreed to meet. He went out to dinner with his friends and had no service and didn’t try other methods to get in touch with me. It was true that he was out of service, we were in the middle of nowhere, but I told him he should have tried other methods such as the restaurant phone in order to update me. I was literally sitting there alone waiting. I will admit, I sent him an immature text and essentially told him it was really selfish to leave me waiting while he was enjoying dinner with his friends. He replied to this text after dinner and said: “I’m on my way.”
So, when he finally shows up and he walks in the door angry right off the bat. He’s pissed at me because he said my text was immature, accusatory, blah blah blah. We argued the whole night over this issue and I also continued to bring up the fact that he didn’t stay in touch with me at all and that I felt like he was treating me poorly. It was about an hour into the argument and he told me to fuck off and leave him alone. He told me I was annoying, nagging, and that I’ve made him an angry person. The family event was the next day and I told him that if he continued to talk to me that way that I would leave in the morning. He ignored me and went to sleep. Again, I’ll admit I’m not perfect. I kept pushing him to talk to me when I knew he was angry, but I hate going to bed that way. Ultimately, he fell asleep.
He woke up, didn’t say a word to me, and was about to go get breakfast without even talking to me. I told him that, once again, that I was going to pack up and leave because I felt unwanted and I felt like he was going to ignore me throughout the whole event. He told me that it was my fault we were even fighting and that all I do is pick fights and that I treat him like shit since I start these arguments. So, I packed up and left. He didn’t say anything until he saw me driving away. Then I was getting text messages saying, “please come back.”
Well, I decided to leave and go home. For the first day, he was texting me apologizing and telling me to travel safely. But then each day after that, he went back to little communication and just prioritized time with his friends. I told him that he is a married man now, he needs to include me and realize that marriage is about partnership. I told him I felt like he hasn’t cared about my feelings at all, but all he does is tell me I’m sensitive. He told me he “needed this time with his friends” and that I “was making a huge deal out of this.”
I don’t know. I feel like he was unnecessarily rude, excluded me, and made me feel very unwanted. He got home today and was angry from the second he walked in the door. He said this is all my fault and he doesn’t see where he went wrong at all. Am I being overly sensitive? Am I in the wrong completely here?
I apologize in advance for typos or grammar, I’m so frustrated right now and just need an outsider’s opinion. I did skip some details to try to keep this from being too long, but I hope I covered most of the situation.