(Closed) Am I too worried about what other people think?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: What do you think? What is your opinion on sahm/d?
    Anyone who judges you on that is not worth it. : (48 votes)
    21 %
    They do have a point, but still do what you think is right for YOU : (15 votes)
    7 %
    They're right, you're throwing away your life : (4 votes)
    2 %
    being a stay at home mom/dad is stupid, get a real job : (5 votes)
    2 %
    being a stay at home parent is a great thing to do : (39 votes)
    17 %
    Do what you want to do! Be a SAHM! : (54 votes)
    23 %
    Don't do it, you're going to regret it! : (4 votes)
    2 %
    You are too worried about what other people think : (59 votes)
    26 %
    other : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I hope you arent worried about what others think bc this is always a hot topic here on WB. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Do what is best for your family and stop worrying about what other people think about it.  There are plenty of moms and dads that stay home to raise their children and there are plenty that work and make alternate arrangements for childcare.  I personally think being a content Stay-At-Home Mom is more preferable to being a miserable unemployed or underemployed working mom.  And I am someone who knows that I would go crazy being a Stay-At-Home Mom (tried it, felt like a fake June Cleaver, no thanks!)

    People are going to judge you for being a Stay-At-Home Mom but they would also judge you for being a working mom.  We are awful mothers for leaving our children in the care of others while we work to advance our careers and/or put food in their bellies and clothes on their backs.  We are awful people because we gave up on our education and dreams to raise children.  It’s a horrible double standard but as mothers we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

    It sounds like being a Stay-At-Home Mom is the best thing for your family right now and you really shouldn’t give it another thought.  If anyone makes a snarky remark about it you can tell them that children grow up so fast you didn’t want to miss a moment of it.  When that fails remind them of the statistics of children who are abused and killed in daycares each year.  Or you can can just tell them it’s none of their damn business and walk away.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @anon_sahm2b:  I always think that people who get to stay home with their children are very lucky.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I have been through this.  I was always the top of my class and always felt I could do anything, always an over-achiever.  Now, I have fully admitted and become who and what I am- I am an artist.  It doesn’t exactly yeild the same results that other fields may.  Honestly, you cannot care what anyone thinks, and that is a place you have to get to.  How else can you be happy in life?  Get to that place so you feel comfortable doing what is right for you.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Yes, don’t worry about other people. You will get judged for being a working mom, you will get judged for being a Stay-At-Home Mom. People are freaks. Do what works for YOUR family-screw everyone else.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1477 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Stay-At-Home Mom here. My baby is only a month old and this is already the hardest job I’ve ever had. There is NEVER a break and I have no one to hand the baby off to when he’s screaming for 5 hours straight (like last night) bc my Darling Husband works nights. My in laws think that I have it easy and don’t really get it. In my family, it’s common for moms to be sahm. I just ignore the judgement. We’re doing what we know is best for our family. It will be the hardest and most rewarding job you’ve ever had! Good luck!!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I went to a top-5 college and have a Master’s degree and left my job to SAH with my son. Don’t regret it. I love staying home (technically I’m working part time, but it has nothing to do with my degree). Some day I may go back to work for real, get a PhD, who knows, but for now, this is the best choice for me and my family. I love getting to be such a big part of my son’s life. Great moms go to work, great moms stay home. People need to do what’s best for themselves.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3357 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    unless you’re a civil engineer, the EIT is not required. I think you need to not worry about what other people think about you. Circumstances are there, and nobody can judge especially if they don’t know what you’ve been through and the curveballs life has thrown at you.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    When your kids are older will you regret not staying home with them or will you regret not working? I am a stay at home mom and my own mother tells me how much she wishes she could have stayed home, she feels like she didn’t even get to see us grow up. I used to think a stay at home parent did nothing and how easy it would be. But It defiantly is challenging, I think much more emotionally than anything. And I can tell you now after being a Stay-At-Home Mom working was MUCH easier! But I love being a Stay-At-Home Mom I love that I will get to see my kids grow up. And that I don’t have to worry about what’s going on at daycare, who’s watching them, what/if their eating..

     

    But I do have to say if your worried about what people will say now, it’s going to be so much harder on you if you choose to stay home.

     

    So don’t worry what people say! People will judge you no matter what you do.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Just do what is best for you and your family. It was best in our situation for me to stay home for awhile. I get some judgement, but its from people I don’t usually care for anyway.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6349 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Will people judge/comment? Probably. Is it any of their business? No. Should it influence you? Absolutely not.

    You should do what is right for you and your family/future family. People were always judge. If you worked full-time, people would probably make comments about having children when you don’t want to look after them, or not being able to make sacrifices, or being selfish; etc. You just have to ignore them.

    FWIW, the only time I judge parents is if they are bad parents. And yes, I do judge women who post memes all over FaceBook about how tough motherhood is, yet are on FaceBook, posting pointless crap all. the. time. Otherwise, whether someone chooses to go back to work or be a stay at home mother is absolutely NONE of my business, and provided they are doing the best thing for them and their family, I am 100% supportive either way. I wish women would quit judging other women just because they make different choices to their own.

    Post # 15
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @anon_sahm2b:  I can relate.. I often am way too concerned about what others think and I think it’s a bad trap to fall into. I wonder if part of your worry is because YOU think you’re throwing your education away, though. Staying at home is a huge decision, really… and not without risk.

    I think that it would be smart to keep in touch with people who could help you get a job later on, stay as current as you can in the field.. like be a member of professional organizations etc., but if you’re out of the workforce 5+ years, you will definitely need to do some upgrading so keep that in mind. I don’t think it’s a bad decision to stay home while the kids are young, though.

    If people do ask, you could just explain that plans change and you want to raise them yourself while they’re young. If they don’t understand, they’re probably not real friends anyway. You do have plans to get back into the workforce.. just not yet. Career isn’t everything. Your Darling Husband makes good money. Kids are only young once.

    I found a graphic of a really good quote on Pinterest.. it definitely is a good reminder:

    Post # 16
    Member
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    You also don’t have to be a Stay-At-Home Mom for forever. If people say something why not say “Ya I’m staying home with my kids because daycare is so expensive, etc..but I’m  going back to work once they are in school.” (Even if you don’t, what are they going to say to that?)

    The topic ‘Am I too worried about what other people think?’ is closed to new replies.

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