(Closed) Am I too young to be married?

posted 11 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 62
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honey i’m going to be getting married right after i turn 18, you’re not too young!

Post # 63
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think age isn’t really an important thing to consider. Finances, life goals, schooling, etc are what you should be looking at. At 21, are you happy with the amount of education you have? At 21, do you have money in the bank, a solid job, and little debt? At 21, if you are satisfied with yourself, your fiance, and where your life is and is going, then go for it!

And when people question it, just say “Oh, yeah, I guess not everyone is as lucky as I am to have found the one so early in life.” Or something to that effect, depending on how annoying that person is.

I get so fed up with people questioning others’ relationships. If you know in your heart it’s right, then I want to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding and I hope you two have many many happy years together! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 64
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have a cousin who got married at 19 to his girlfriend, also 19. They have been married 13 years now, have 5 children plus one who they adopted at 7 when they were 19 (a relative with dead-beat parents)! She (the adopted child) is finishing college now (she entered early because she is just so clever!) Their children are the best behaved and most well-mannered kids I have ever met, I love being around them, as does my Fiance. They take their marriage and their parenting seriously and always have. They are one of the married couples in my life I look up to most.

I don’t think age matters, I think each individual is different. When you have two individuals who are ready, then that is the time for them to get married.

Post # 65
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know how you feel. I am also 21, although we are not getting married until 2011 so i will be almost 23 then. My fiance will be 25 when we get married. I have gotten afew your-so-young’s from people. But my fiance and I have been together for 7 years–since highschool.

 I know it can be annoying to hear that your too young, but if you know in your heart and your head that you are ready, don’t let others get to you. But I think at any age, marraige is a big decision and you need to KNOW this is what you want. Other than that, some people are just ready and in that place in their lives sooner than others. I don’t think that age matters as long as you are sure.


Post # 66
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am getting married and I am 20, the wedding is a year away and I will be 21.

I love my Fiance and we have been together since I was 14, not off and on I might add.

I love him and I know he is the one. I am not saying its right for everyone but for me its the right thing!

I am ready to carry out the responsibility of a wife. We have waited a very long time to be together as man and wife. I am not an advocate of getting married at a young age, however In my situation I believe I have shown myself  and others just how ready I am. I have a wonderful mother and father who support me in my choice.

Post # 67
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

4 years ago, at 21, I was almost engaged. It didn’t work out, and boy am I glad! I wasn’t ready to be married, and looking back now, the marriage itself would have been a disaster – but that’s mostly because my ex is crazy, not because I was only 21.

Every marriage is different, just like every couple and every individual.

The growing/changing factor is a realistic one to be aware of though – have you and your Fiance talked a lot about where your lives are headed? I know (for me and for a lot of my friends) we never really thought about our ‘five year plans’ until after college ended. And for some of my girl friends who got married right out of college, that DID end up being really difficult.

My advice? Sit down, alone, with a cup of tea and a pretty journal and a pen that writes well (or your laptop, haha) and spend some SERIOUS time thinking over where you want to go in your life (pray about it if you’re religious). Write down goals you have, big and small – ask questions like “Do I ever want to live in another state? another country?” “What kind of job do I want?” “(When) do I foresee having children?” “Do I want to continue my education? What schools appeal to me?”

Then think about how your Fiance might affect those dreams – maybe you can’t go to the grad school that actually offers the best in the degree you want, because his job ties you to the opposite end of the country.

Ask him to sit down and examine his goals and dreams as well. Then compare notes – of COURSE you won’t be on the same page all the time, but it’ll be a great springboard for talking about some of those big future-planning issues, if you aren’t already discussing them. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 68
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My cousin started dating his EX-wife at 14.  They had a “wonderful” relationship and got married when they graduated college (at 22).  He got into dental school, so they moved about 90 minutes away.  This is when their relationship started falling apart.  Three years later, he graduated and left her. 

There’s no reason to hurry up and get married because you will still grow and change over the next few years.  I will be getting married one month shy of 27 – and wish that we’d planned the wedding until after I turned 27!  In my opinion, the older the better. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 69
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

im getting married young.

im getting married at 20 after 2.5 yrs of engagement, i did wait when i got engaged young, but im still young.  lol.  and to think, i always thought 23 was the ideal “young” age to get married.

im getting outta college around the time of the wedding.  we can pay our bills.  are we completely independent right now? no.  we have been in the past, but right now were gratefully accepting help while we finish school.  but i know from the past that we will do ANYTHING to make sure things work, both of us.

you just need to know where your lives are going but be flexible to making sacrifices for the sake of your relationship.  if you have to move apart for school/careers, or you dont agree on your futures/beliefs/all the other important issues which i’m sure you’re aware of, then maybe not.  if your lives are going in the same direction then you might be ready.  just dont make your future harder on yourself than it has to be, make sure you’ll be okay financially and mentally for that first year! (and second, third, etc)

i hope everything works out for you!  be honest with yourself and your family and your fiance, and hopefully everything turns out for the best. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 70
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think I have everyone beat here in that department.

Im 19 and married already. Yes yes people can say oh! Your too young! but the fact of the matter is I know people who get married well into their 30’s and divorce within a small time frame. Its not the age of the couple it is the maturity.

If I had the maturity of a regular teenager then YES i would be much too young. But Im not, I have been supporting myself and living on my own for almost 2 years. I am a manager of a department in a banks corporate headquarters. I hate it when people shove me in a corner of a “normal teenager” its such an annoying disability and not to be taken seriously.  

And please dont listen to other people, you will never be happy if you do that. Please follow your heart. And if your heart says you should marry him…then do it! I wish you a world of happiness!

If I had followed all the negative feedback everyone had told me , i would be single, miserable, and regretted letting the love of my life go.

I have met several couples who got married YOUNGER then I did and they are still together. My Grandparents married when she was 16 and he was 21. and over 60 years later they are still together.


Post # 71
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m with the crowd that says that it depends on the relationship. I dont agree with those that are dismissing it out of hand based on age. I am 21 myself, but I sure dont feel or act 21. It depends on nothing but you, your Fiance and your life situation. I dont believe that an age defines a person. My parents were married when my mom was 18, my dad 21. They are celebrating their 35th next June. I also know people I went to school with that got married and are already divorced, that probably shouldn’t have ever gotten married. It depends on the person.

Like I said, I am 21 now and will be 22 when we get married next year. My Fiance and I have been together since high school, we started dating our senior year. Since the first weeks we were together, I knew I was going to be married to him someday. Now, we were always the couple that was not going to get married young. We discussed the subject and both decided that if we were still together in our mid-20s that we would talk about it more seriously. Life happens, we aren’t waiting.

We’ve been through plenty together and will go through plenty more before our wedding. I’m finishing my bachelor’s and will graduate in December 2010, 6 weeks after our wedding. He’s in the Air Force. We will be able to financially support ourselves when we get married. We will have insurance, we will have a place to live, we will not have to ask anyone to help support us. Like ejs4y8, we are getting married sooner due to the military. It is by no means the only reason, but it was definitely the catalyst.

If you think that you are ready, then do it. This is decision you need to make for yourself.

Post # 72
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t let others tell you how to feel or what to do. I am only 22 and am planning on getting married. And Fiance and I have only been together for 4 months. When you know someone is right for you, you know. And you will grow and change, but you can do it together. If you both feel the same way about each other, do what makes you happy. Ignore others and focus on your life because you are the only ones that really know how you feel and what you want. And you are the only ones that have to live with your decisions. Congratulations and best of luck on everything. I’m sure everything will work out perfect for you two.

Post # 73
102 posts
Blushing bee

Age is just a #.. you know Mama Mary got married and had a baby at age 15.. hows that for a responsibility.. -Ian

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