Post # 1
I am 20 and he is 21; we have been dating for 3 years this coming May. We have been talking a lot about our future lately, and we know we want to get married. Is it too young/early to get engaged sometime at the end of this year? We will both be seniors in our undergraduate studies and I will have a job when I graduate in 2013. He is going to school for 2 more years to get his masters. We probably wouldn’t be getting married for 2-3 years after we get engaged, though, because it would be nice for him to finish school first. What do you think? We have also been going through a book that has 101 questions you should ask/discuss with one another before you get engaged. We are on about 35 and it is going well.
Post # 3
If you have to ask, then I’d say yes. Personally, I’d want a few years of “real life” out of college first, but everyone is different of course. People change a lot in the 20s. Some couples will make it, some wont… you just wont know until you go for it if thats what you want. I’m in the school of “why rush it”?
Post # 4
@pinkshoes: I agree with the rule: “if you have to ask, then yes.”
If you really think you’re ready, then own it and don’t let other people tell you how mature you are.
If you want to wait a few years, then let it sit and see if you wake up one day and know you’re ready.
Post # 6
I agree with PPs, if you have to ask then you’re not ready.
Post # 7
Yes. But I don’t think your too young to have maybe found “the one”, but at such a young age I reccomend dating longer, at least two more years 🙂
Post # 8
I think you are too young only because you are questioning it. I am 22 and have no doubt I’m ready to get married. We waited until we had graduated with our bachelors to get engaged and I am glad we did.
Post # 9
I don’t necessarily think you are too young. If YOU feel you are ready, then by all means…
Also, just because you decide to get engaged in the near future it doesn’t necessarily follow that you will get married right away. Anyways, these are just my personal opinions and thoughts…you will know what is right for you.
Post # 10
As someone who was also dating her SO for 3 years when we got engaged, and was also at age 20, I would say no (obviously to say yes would make me hypocritical). However I do think there is an interesting point to PP’s who said “If you have to ask, yes”
In any event I think it has to do with what you and your SO think, not what other people think.
Post # 11
I think it’s about how you feel, I do agree if you are questioning it, then there might be a reason you are thinking that you may be too young.
My now husband and I dated since I was 18 and he 19… and there are alot of changes we both went through growing up into the adults we are now…. I can honestly say that we got engaged at the right time… 5 years later when I was 24 and he was 25….and we were engaged for two more years until I was “done” with graduate school and just got married this October… 7 years later…. I didnt feel any “rush” to get engaged, married, etc… yah it was anoying having people ask why aren’t you married yet it’s been forever.. blah blah… I say just let it run it’s course , you will know when you are “ready”. No one can tell you when you are ready.
Post # 12
Fiance proposed when I was in 4th year and he was in 5th year (because he had done a year internship).. engaged Nov. 2009 and wedding June 2012. We had a long engagement but we needed to finish undergrad and have some future plans before wedding planning. We are both very ready and can’t wait 🙂
Post # 13
If you have to ask, then you already know the answer… that’s my rule of thumb, at least.
Post # 14
@starlove: I think youre asking because people are planting the idea in your head that youre young. You seem to be on the right track and getting an education. You dont see yourself marrying until your 23-24 so its not like youre marrying tomorrow. It’s alright to have a long engagment. He is just sealing the deal now so you dont get away 🙂
Post # 15
I am 20, and my fiance is 21. We got engaged pretty early! Trust me, you do not want a long engagement! Enjoy getting to know each other more and spending time together rather than starting to plan the rest of your life already, just enjoy each other!
Post # 16
like the other posts, if you have to ask…then yes.
i was engaged when i was 21 to a really great guy. we were to be married when i was 23. everything was planned, booked, bought, etc. 6 months before the wedding, i broke off the engagement and cancelled the wedding. i realized that there was so much that i wanted to do before getting married. we tried to stay together but he was too hurt. we broke up 8 months later. in hidesight, we should have waited to get engaged. it puts too much pressure on the couple.
what’s the rush, you are still very young.