Post # 1
My BFF is recently engaged and has scheduled her wedding exactly 6 weeks before mine. Am I overreacting or is this plain rude? They were engaged one month after they met and now are planning a May wedding. I find this careless especially because during the final stretch into my wedding my Fiance and I will be EXTREMELY strapped for cash meaning lots of staying home and definitely no budget for going to weddings.
Post # 3
I think you are. You should be happy for her 🙂
Post # 4
the problem is that there are only so many weekends in a year so fitting in all the weddings means at some point things can be booked within a month or so of eachother
its six weeks apart and you have plenty of time to budget a little for her hens party and shower – just as i hope she is budgeting for yours as being a newlywed is expensive as well
Post # 5
Be happy for her. Honestly, she probably isn’t doing it to ‘steal your limelight’. Sometimes we have to choose wedding dates based on availability rather than choice. Plus, I don’t think that she is planning her wedding before yours to make you strapped for cash 😉
Take a deep breath, take a nap, regroup, and wish her luck!
Post # 6
If my best friend was getting married I would make sure to be there no matter what day, or time it was and no matter what was going on in my life. You have enough notice to budget to go for a wedding in May. Its your best friend. I would never miss my best friends wedding.
Post # 7
Its kind of bridzilla to be mad about that. You might be dissapointed that you might not be able to go because of a financial situation. Everyone gets to pick their day. Just be happy for her and she will feel the same for you.
Post # 8
I think you are. Why not just be happy for her and enjoy sharing the planning process with your BFF.
Post # 9
Thanks all for the advice. Weddings are expensive to hold, and are also pretty expensive to attend when it’s the expectation in our culture that the gift should be equal to the cost of the dinner plate. My wedding is Chinet while hers will be the finest China. Not a jealousy issue, it’s more of an “I feel pretty intimidated” issue.
Post # 10
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla, but I do think you should both be understanding friends to eachother.
You have to understand that it’s hard to work out a day that works. We looked at all of 2010 and 2011, and could only identify 4 Saturdays that worked for us and our VIP guests. It was crazy.
She should be understanding that weddings are expensive, and perhaps bring it up that she doesn’t expect a gift. I was in my best friend’s wedding, and she told this to all of the bridal party, that she realized it was already expensive to be IN a wedding, and please don’t give a gift on top. I still did.. but it was nice to have the pressure off.
Hopefully you guys can have an honest conversation about what your expectations will be going into this situation.
Post # 11
If people want to get married, they want to get married. There are a lot of posts about this sort of thing. Weddings aren’t really first come, first served. They are something for the COUPLE. I wouldn’t wait my wedding just because someone else was getting married close to to it. Sorry, but my plans don’t revolve around everyone else’s wedding plans. I think bridezilla refers to women who expect people to revolve their own lives around their weddings. If you are feeling twingey about possibily being selfish, then take a step back and think if you are just expecting too much because you are in full-on wedding mode. In this case, I think you are. You should be happy for her and offer to help with any of your own leftovers (decor, etc) after your wedding.
Post # 12
i don’t think you are being bridezilla. if you were, you would march over to your friend and demand she change her date and accuse her of being completely inconsiderate to your wedding needs. you feel how you feel and can’t help it. i understand, i am in a similar situation myself and i just have to work through it so i myself can be happy. i am sure you can figure out your finances and its probably better that you just accept her wedding and attend happily – but regardless of culture, just give what YOU can afford. maybe even talk it over with her and say since you both are getting married so close together you can just cancel out giving each other gifts and just give cards….or agree to give the same amount (which is essentially the same as the first option in terms of how much money you save/lose – you just don’t have to feel like you are jipping each other). good luck
Post # 13
It might make for an even more stressful time leading up to your wedding…but it’s also going to be crazy-fun to do wedding stuff with your BFF. I’m incredibly jealous. 🙂
Post # 14
OK I’m going completely against the majority here. I wouldn’t be happy!
Post # 15
UPDATE: So, I’m 4.5 mos out from my own wedding and six weeks out from BFFs wedding….I still owe half of the bridesmaid’s dress for her wedding while she’s sending out invites that say formal wedding and other bridesmaids are expecting to host a bridal shower at an elegant restaurant. I’m scrambling to pay on my OWN super simple wedding remember I said CHINET? This is what I was afraid of and made me feel so upset that I posted on this board. FYI…I called it 3 mos ago and it did not work. Did I also mention that this friend hasn’t even known her fi a year yet? This is my frustration and I must vent!!!
Post # 16
I totally understand how you are feeling!
I’ve been engaged for 3 years…we finally manage to save enough and come to some semblance of an agreement with his family (they are the devil incarnate) and start planning.
My Maid/Matron of Honor started dating someone last summer and 6 months in he proposes. So now I’m listening to her tell me that she loves him, but knows she’s not ready for marriage, but said yes? huh?
So, I humour her help her plan her wedding…to a man she doesn’t want to marry yet?. Ignore that she isn’t helping me with mine. Sigh.
You aren’t being bridezilla for being upset. Its a very emotional time and feeling like someone is taking your day away from you SUCKS. However, you just have to go with the flow & support her.
As far as the money thing goes unfortunately being a Bridesmaid or Best Man means spending money…on things you couldn’t care less about and will never use again. For example I have a $500 brown dress sitting in my closet. I was in school when I bought it, its probably lumped into my student debt to be honest. BUT it made my friend happy…so I did it. Oh, theres also the $1000 I spent on a DJ for her stag and doe….it was supposed to be refunded to me, but apparently the Maid/Matron of Honor thought it should be a donation. Sigh
Hang in there hun! Your day will still be special!