Post # 17
@Nona99: +1 that’s precisely what I would do.
“Hey, I want to thank you so much for your contribution. It’s really appreciated! I understand you weren’t able to give the full amount you promised earlier, and that’s totally fine, but I was just wondering how you’d like to handle the guest list. You see, we invited (state a number of people or name guests specifically) because we thought your contribution would cover them, but now someone will need to contact them and let them know we’re no longer able to host them. Would you let me know after you’ve spoken with them? Hey, I gotta run, but I’ll be listening out for your call ok? Thxbye!”
Post # 18
@MrsPanda99: LOL 20k wow that would cover almost the entire wedding!! sign me up!
we won’t uninvite guests, unfortunately/fortunately everyone we invited says they’re coming…we got 60% of our RSVPs back so far confirmed and the ones we don’t have told us vocally they are coming but just need to mail back the RSVP…no help there!
Post # 19
The extra guests that they wanted should be made to know that the reason they have now been uninvited is because monies that were promised were never received
Wishful thinking, but we know that most of us would ever do that.
@bretonvirgniia: I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. It is such mean-spirited behavior of the parents to allow you to go ahead and make plans based on your budget which included a specific sum of money from them.
Can you put the extra on a credit card, or ask your parents for a loan? Is there anything you can cancel or scale back on? Can either, or both of you take on extra work?
Post # 20
No, you’re not being ungrateful. They asked you to invite more people and offered to chip in. I guess if I were in your situation I’d take out a small loan to cover my vendor fees and ask the in-laws how they were going to pay me back.
Post # 21
@Overjoyed: that’s my fiance’s plan when he calls his dad tonight. apparently his dad’s pride is worth $1600 so he’ll probably come up with the money magically.
Post # 22
@julies1949: we don’t qualify for any loans and we’re already both working crazy hours…we’ve also scaled back on mostly everything…ugh. worst!
Post # 23
@bretonvirgniia: I think you and your fiancé need to speak to both of them and make it clear that back when YOU were budgeting, you listened to their concerns, attempted to accommodate their wishes for your day, and were grateful, if not hesitant, to accept their help. Now, it’s payday, and let them know what kind of jam you’re facing because they’ve backed down. And when I say you and your fiancé talk to them, both of you be present, but your fiancé really needs to take the lead here.
I don’t think you’re being ungrateful at all. Seems to me you’re really getting a hatchett job!
🙁 I’m so very sorry!
Post # 24
my fiance just sent me an email he is sending to them…
This email is to the both of you to let you know of a few things going on.
Please do not reply to this email and just read it and take it into consideration.
As it stands right you both offered to help myself and Breton for the wedding and give us $xxx each for the extra guests.
This is now down to $xx each from both of you. Without getting into
specifics we are currently short on our budget because of this.
I understand both of you have your own commitments.
We are currently short $1500.
Myself and Breton will be talking about options going forward.
They are listed below
1. Cancel the wedding and get married abroad.
2. Take off 10 guests from my side
I will be calling both of you tonight and myself and Breton will make our decision
a little bit cold…but effective lol
Post # 25
@bretonvirgniia: I would be pissed. That’s completely rude of them to insist on your wedding being larger, promising a set amount of support to accommodate their request and bailing on that promise.
Eta: hopefully your invites haven’t gone out early and you can adjust the guestlist to accomodate this shortage of funds. Otherwise, see what you can cancel or adjust to be at a lower cost then planned.
Post # 26
@bretonvirgniia: unfortunately this is not the first time that i’ve heard of this same scenario. it’s ashame that parents make hollow promises but it is what it is. in hindsight you should have asked for the money upfront. the ol’ don’t spend it until you have it rule.
hopefully your fi will be able to speak to his parents about this. in the meantime, i would be seriously looking at where you could cut back on the wedding. have a friend bake your cake, ipod over dj, omit the favours, cash bar vs open bar, fewer flowers and less decor. just some ideas; i know the bees will have more.
Post # 27
@mypinkshoes: thanks. yah we’ve scaled back on so much already…im not sure what else we can cut back on. our caterer takes care of mostly everything and it’s a package deal so some stuff we have no choice but to keep.
Post # 28
@bretonvirgniia: Is it too late to cancel stuff? Like you’ll lose $$ on deposits, but being in debt is worse, no?
At this point I’d be so pissed off that I wouldn’t want to host a wedding for these people.
Post # 29
O I would be so mad! I sure hope they pony up the cash or at least don’t give a big stink about your given options. Good luck!!!
Post # 30
@canarydiamond: oh trust me, i had to take a walk at work because i was seriously 30 seconds away from cancelling everything and booking two tickets to st lucia to elope.
i feel like it’s negative on top of negative. we’ve received 50% of our rsvps back so far and guess how many from his family? THREE. it’s like they don’t even care about our wedding…all of them. his mom isn’t willing to help my mom with the bridal shower (which is costing my mom easily $500+) she won’t even help set-up or run games or anything. i’m sure i’m just mad but i feel like the only people who give a shit is my family. sorry for the rant.
Post # 31
Tell them that you can’t afford the guests – same thing you told them before – so they will need to call them and uninvite them.