(Closed) Am I unreasonable or is he??

posted 9 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Depends.  Is his fear that you’ll end up with more or less than 140 people at the reception?  If you send an invitation with a reception location and get more than 140, you’ll have to find a new one and then it’s a logistical pain in the butt to notify every person attending that could have been avoided by just not putting it on the invite.  If you have a lot less than 140, you may have just wasted a lot of money getting a reception location that seats 140, so for financial reasons, you would want to hold out until you had a firm number.  I personally would just put the time of the reception with no location.  Considering it’s a destination wedding, you’re going to have more communication with people more often than if it’s a local wedding, plus I’m doubting you’re going to plan a reception that any of your guests would have to travel far to from their hotels (ie-they won’t have to arrange for transportation in advance), so it shouldn’t be a problem to just tell them where to go at a later date.  With a destination wedding, especially an international one, it’s pretty unlikely that you’ll get an accurate number of guests just off a STD so I wouldn’t base everything off that.  International trips are expensive and some people won’t know that far in advance if they can afford to travel even if they intend to come.

Post # 4
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You can’t really send out invitations for a destination wedding with only ceremony information  The two of you need to settle on a venue and include it in your invites.  People are going to be really confused and either contacting you to see if you forgot the rest of the invitation package or simply skipping your wedding imagining it’s ceremony only.

For a destination wedding you may send invitations out a little earlier, but I’d say give your guests at least a 6-8 week breather in between the STD and the invitation.

As for the number of guests,  the attendence for a destiantion weddding is a lot less than for a regular wedding.  It’s usually 50% or so, give or take.  So I think that your dream venue that holds 140 should be plenty. 

Post # 5
7582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

You can always send an e-vite for just pre counts when it comes to a destination wedding. You could then get a good gauge for how many people will come. You’re also giving people pretty short notice with your STD. I know that I probably wouldn’t be able to get myself to a destination wedding in such a short time frame, so I think you would have a lot less positive rsvp’s

Post # 6
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with the pp. You need to book your venue before you can send the invites & they should contain ALL relevant info. Depending on how many of those Save-The-Date Cards were formalities & your families’ financial situations, it’s very likely that your dream venue is out of the question.

Post # 7
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I personally think you should pick a reception venue before sending out invites.


Question, do you have a wedding website and did you advertise that on your STD? If so you should create an RSVP link on your wedding website so you can get a tentative head count on how many ppl will be attending if your Fiance is that worried about it.

Post # 8
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Because I live 9,000 miles away from home, my wedding will be a Destination Wedding for my family. We are looking to keep the guest list around 80 people, even though I have a lot more family and friends I do need to invite – though I’m guessing most of them will not show up. I sent out an informal email to get a rough head count of who was coming from my family before we made the bookings for food and the venue. I’m sending out one set of invites this week, and then depending on who responds I’ll send out another set of invites to fill out the rest of our guest list, so that gives me more control to make sure we don’t go over our budget. 

Post # 9
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

So you sent Save-The-Date Cards to DOUBLE the number of guests the venue can hold? And you’re wanting to send out invites but you haven’t booked a place yet? And your wedding is in four months? You definitely have your work cut out for you! You are right that you can’t send an invite without venue info, but I would strongly recommend finding a venue that could actually accomodate the # of guests you’re inviting – and booking it before you send out invites saying where it is! Imagine the nightmare you’ll be dealing with if the venue is booked by someone else for that date or too many people are coming and you have to find a new location AFTER invites have been sent out.

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