(Closed) Am I unreasonable?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

wow… the duties of a Bridesmaid or Best Man includes being there for you when you need them most and embrace this time of joy with you.  It seems like she lacks interest being your Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Is she one of your bestest friends?  As far as her hair/makeup, if your paying for it she should be doing it your way.  If she wants to pay for hair/makeup, she can do it whatever way she wants.  You have to let her know soon otherwise it’s just going to add unnecessary stress that you don’t need to deal with… I mean…. You are planning YOUR wedding.  If she is late to the wedding… the show must go on.  Don’t think about stopping or waiting to start your wedding because this person is “late”.  Your wedding day is about you and your to be Husband.  I hope this helps!  … & you’re far from Bridezilla!  Happy Planning!      

Post # 4
Member
17 posts
Newbee

You don’t seem unreasonable at all.  You have been very patient I’d say.

Just a few questions:  Has your friend always been this flaky with appointments and such?  Some people have no regard for the time.

She appears to be trying to get you to ‘fire’ her.  If only she had the courage to level with you. As it is she is being extremely rude.  Hours late…no-shows?  Grrrrr…..

I’d be penciling in her replacement if I were you.

Post # 7
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

She made you wait 2 hours for her once? Unless she was in an accident or something and was late because of it, that would have been the end of a friendship with me. I give everything I have to my friends, but I don’t let them take advantage of me. 

I have to ask why you continue to put up with such disrespect to your friendship. Not only do I wonder why this girl is your bridesmaid, I wonder why she’s even a friend. 

Post # 8
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@breadandbutterflies:  Im sorry you’re going through this… This is tough…  Your Bridesmaid or Best Man is really selfish and I know those types who meets a new guy and don’t give their friends the time or day!  I say talk to her.. Have a heart to heart with her.  Tell her how you feel.  Some people need a reality check and she difintely needs one.  She obviously has no clue or hasn’t been considerate of your feelings.   She’s an adult so I’m sure you guys can talk about it.  If she is immature about it or doesn’t respect your wishes, that will help you make an easy decision.  I wish you the best of luck… & remember this is far from you being a bad guy. 

Post # 9
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@breadandbutterflies:  I wouldn’t push the hair thing too much. I asked my Bm’s to wear their hair up and curled. My one Bridesmaid or Best Man didn;t want to put “heat” in her hair so I told her to wear rollers the night before. She cut her hair off to her chin 3 weeks before the wedding. Yeah….. I know how you feel. She was also the Bridesmaid or Best Man that I had to “guess her size” to order her dress on the last day that they could be ordered. Just breathe and think of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Post # 10
Member
8731 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Personally I think you need to talk to her rather than complaining about her. There could be a million and one reasons why she is being the way she is. Is she being inconsiderate- of course but unless you ask her what is going on in her life then you will never know why and just be angry and disappointed.

Mabe she is having personal problems such as relationship problems that she felt going and having a coffee and a discussion with her boyfriend were more important than the appointment with you. Maybe she has a health issue and is distancing herself so as not to bring you down during your exciting wedding time.

Sometimes friends act a certain way (though misguided) as their way of protecting/sheilding their friend.

Post # 13
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

@breadandbutterflies:  I 100% don’t think you are being unreasonable. She is not being a good bridesmaid. At ALL.

Post # 14
Member
8731 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@breadandbutterflies:  Well in that case she is just prioritising her life over your wedding. It sucks but it is her choice to make and whilst you and I probably wouldn’t do the same she is. I still hold that you need to talk to her how her being late is affecting you/making you feel. If she chooses to change great but if she doesn;t then you either need to accept that and move on or if it is going to continue to upset you end the friendship.

Post # 15
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This girl is out of line. I know people who are always late, but being hours late is crazy and rude and it’s disrespectufl.  I would speak to her and let her know if she drops the ball or is late you won’t be waiting around for her. So inconsiderate!

Post # 16
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think you are being unreasonable.  I would tell her it seems she is very busy these days and in her interest you don’t think she can handle the time commitment! 

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