(Closed) Am I verging on Bridezilla status?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

What kind of events? Your wedding is like a year and a half away, while I *might* not mind this closer to the date, right now its overkill.

Post # 3
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
lizstarlight22 :  I don’t know that it would “scare” me, I’m just not sure what this would include.  Pardon my ignorance, but what are they supposed to be doing other than buying a dress and coming to the wedding (and possibly rehearsal)?  A year and a half out, I’d probably be like “uh, ok” and toss it, figuring invitations to whatever I’m invited to will arrive like normal.

Your engagement is not a “fun and special time” for anyone but you and possibly your Fiance and your mom.  It’s just . . . the (in your case) MANY months between now and the day you get married.  

Post # 4
6340 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

5 pages!?

I just…don’t know how much information you could be putting in this packet that they seriously need to know. I’ve been in 4 weddings and all I really need to know is: when, where, what dress. Then things like bachelorette parties and showers are discussed later on amongest the bridal party as we were the ones hosting those events. 

I’m a big planner too but if I got something like this in the mail I’d probably just laugh to myself and say the bride is going a little cuckoo. 

Post # 6
914 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lizstarlight22 :  If you want to do something now, I think it’s perfectly fine to send your bridal party an email with important dates, but that’s about it for now. 

If your wedding plans are really involved, I think that sending them detailed information could be okay closer to your wedding date.

Congrats on your engagement!

Post # 7
9869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would think you went off the deep end.

This is serious overkill.

Also — you don’t plan things like the bridal shower or bachelorette yourself.  It’s a major faux pax to throw those events for yourself, and you may rub your bridesmaids the wrong way if you send them info about it.

Post # 8
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Kudos for being so organized! I would give them the dates if you have them in advance, dress cost if you have it picked out, but save the details for when you know who can attend what when. Keep it simple and informative for now.

Post # 10
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I wouldn’t mind! Especially if it included chocolate!

One thing would need to be super, abundantly clear to me though. That you would be cool if I missed certain events and which events those were! I want to do everything when I am a bridesmaid and ended up being in tears a few times because I was trying to be perfect and do everything and go to every event.


I’m pretty busy with career and family and stuff so it’d feel terrible to miss anything unless you made it super clear it was just for fun. Then I would just choose to go to the amount of events I could handle 🙂

Post # 11
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
lizstarlight22 :  Honestly, do what you want to do. 

I thought it would be too early to give my girls details when I first figured them out, and didn’t because I didn’t want to overwhelm them..and now I wish that I would have, because there’s conflict between a couple of my BMs because they decided to plan other activites apart from the rest of the wedding party for the day of the wedding. 

Post # 14
9869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
lizstarlight22 :  Ah ok, I misunderstood when you had all the details a year out in your letter to them.  I still think sending a multiple page note with dates for events a year in the future is serious overkill. 

Post # 15
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This is overkill.  Get the shower, bachelorette dates, etc. once you know, and tell them at that point they are not expected to be at every event, just what works for them.  That’s literally all they need to know.  Those hosting any shower or bachelorette that you might have will send out invites.

I did put together a day of sheet with approximate schedule for the day (appointments and pictures), addresses, and phone numbers.  Everyone had my number, but I didn’t have my phone all day, so I wanted them to have other peoples’ numbers too.  That way there was no confusion.  Even that schedule was less than a half-page.  I gave it to the bridal party and our parents at the rehearsal dinner.  I know you’re organized, but this is kind of ridiculous.

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