(Closed) Am I verging on Bridezilla status?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
3980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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lizstarlight22 :  Can you just create a Facebook group? I did that with my girls and DH did it with his guys and it worked out well. Everyone had a Facebook, so when something important came up, I posted it in the group. They could opt out of getting notifications if they wanted to, but could still reference back to it if they needed something answered. Many of the girls found it helpful when they started buying their dresses. I did a mismatched look, so it was helpful for all the girls to have the photos to reference back to. I think a pamphlet it fine, but it doesn’t really leave room for an unexpected delay or something that may need to be changed. 

Post # 17
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Kudos for being organised. If you’re the super organised one I think you could get away with it in a self-deprecating ‘so ladies you know I might just be the obsessive planner… well, here’s the information I have so far. I needed it from friends/family to arrange my travel etc but thought I’d share it with you in case it’s any use. There’s ZERO pressure to make it to everything- hell I know you have a life beyond my wedding. Just humour my craziness and give me a shout if you need anything (or think I’ve totally lost the plot!)

 

Post # 18
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

i’m a planner so i would appreciate it. my girls actually asked for an itenerary so they knew what the heck was going on. 

Post # 19
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

You know what if your quite like this anyway do it! Your friends would probably just laugh and say “typical ‘Kate'” lol 

Post # 20
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would just prefer it in an email! A booklet is needlessly fussy. An email I can always pull up on my phone when I forget.

I appreciate effective, condensed communication over 25 separate emails so I would love to get all the info in one swoop early in the game. 

Post # 21
Member
7964 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m a big-time planner and at eighteen months out even I think it would be overkill plus no matter how well planned everything seems now something is bound to change over that time period–life happens. 

When the date gets closer try to edit it down–at five pages you would run the risk of it landing in a stack to ‘look at later when there is more time.’ As a working mother I have to say that stack gets pretty big sometimes.

Post # 22
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I may be in the minority, but I would really appreciate having this information in advance. I have a very non-flexible work schedule and if I want to take vacation, I need to request the dates a year ahead of time in many cases. I might prefer an informational email though, since I can always reference back to it in my inbox. I might lose a booklet.

Post # 23
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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lizstarlight22 :  Yes and no. Do NOT mail it. Just send an email with overarching “save the dates” for the big events, and you can send a follow up as the events got closer. I sent the whole bridal party emails throughout the wedding process. I think the bridesmaids got 4-6 group emails with details and the whole bridal party got three emails from me. The emails seemed to be appreciated becuase not only did they know what was happening but then they could fwd the email to their SOs as well.

Post # 24
Member
2722 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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lizstarlight22 :  Honestly, I would not want to receive a 5 page booklet 18 months in advance.  I get that you’re organized (I pride myself on being pretty organized myself) but I think this is a bit too much.  I would appreciate a heads up on the dates (if they’re known) but you don’t have to give me all that other information so far out.  I would forgot then probably ask closer to 3-4 months before the actual dates.  If you sent it to me in paper form, I would probably misplace it, or file it and forget where I filed it.

Post # 25
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

 

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lizstarlight22 :  It sounds like you are making participation Idiot Proof. What you’ve done is make less work, create more options and reduce uncertainty. I would very much appreciate having all of the information in advance, regardless of the page count, and do not think it is at all overkill. Although, an email of the booklet in addition to the paper copy would be helpful.

Post # 26
Member
8409 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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lizstarlight22 :  Nope, would not be appreciated. Also, “Doing wedding stuff like dress shopping or crafting, etc. is a nice opportunity to spend some quality time with the girls.” — these are chores. Especially if they live out of state and have kids and lives, this is not quality time.

Post # 27
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

I definitely do not think you’ve gone into bridezilla territory, you’re just being organized and thoughtful. I agree with a PP in saying that maybe a facebook group would be good for your bridal party? Might make it slightly easier in the long run in case there are any changes. A friend of mine did this for her bridal shower and it made our communication as bridesmaids a lot easier, and we appreciated having the dates/times to reference easily. 

I think a couple people are being too hard on you right now. As a bridesmaid I enjoyed helping the bride plan and work on crafts. IDK–maybe I’m in the minority of people who like those kinds of things? It was nice quality time, and we often paired the work with fun stuff. 

Post # 28
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

Also, I attended a destination bachelorette party and unbeknownst to me at the time I committed to it was that there was another option to attend a different party which was closer, more convenient and less expensive. Had I known of both options, for instance, presented in a guide, I would not have felt pressured to attend both, it just would have made my life a lot easier. 

Post # 29
Member
6216 posts
Bee Keeper

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lizstarlight22 :  I would love it!  I hate wondering and worrying about time off and what if I plan xyz and my best friends bridal shower is that day?  But I also like to know all the plans ahead of time and most consider it strange and I’ve had to chill out on sine of out. But it’s got my vote. I would totally appreciate it if it was me. 

Post # 30
Member
6216 posts
Bee Keeper

I also don’t understand the negativity from many other posters. I’m super excited when a friend gets engaged and you can bet your butt it’s also a special time for me too! I mean when it comes to forcing people to work on things or act as a vendor the day of, well that’s a no but many really really want to help and be involved. 

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