(Closed) Am I way overreacting?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@JemmaWRX:  My thoughts exactly!

Post # 33
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@GoldfishPie:  I don’t know about all that Goldfish.  He’s a kid.  I think he’s simply unsure about this.  Granted he should cease any and all talk about engagement BUT does he have the capacity to know any better at 18/19 years old?

Post # 35
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Just because other people you know get married at 20, does not mean that it is right for you. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn’t. Since he seems so unsure about everything, which he probably is now that you’ve explained a bit more, you should really respect that this is quite early to make such a commitment and you should give him time to decide for himself when he is ready and if he is ready to get married to you. You should be part of the conversation, sure, and you should know how he is thinking and all that, but the amounf of emotion in this whole things right now is overwhelming. You would probably be best served to decide together to wait a while (6 months, a year, maybe) before you have a further discussion about getting married so that you can both think about your relationship and so that you can work on building a strong foundation for that relationship. You do not want to get married just because it is the next step in the logical prograssion of the relationship.

Post # 36
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@mrsSonthebeach:  +1, and very well said. 

Post # 39
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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@JemmaWRX:  You’re right, he is a kid and acting like one, even better reason to not get married at 20!

Post # 40
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@mrsSonthebeach:  both think about your relationship and so that you can work on building a strong foundation for that relationship. You do not want to get married just because it is the next step in the logical prograssion of the relationship.

THIS.

Post # 41
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know you didn’t ask for this advice OP, but I would like to give you it.

I’m not going to say don’t marry him because you’re young but I will tell you that I did this.  And other than having my beautiful daughter, I regret it.  I wish that someone had told me ” don’t rush into something so young when you don’t even have a freakin clue who you are”.  I’m sure that I wouldn’t have even taken that advice, I was 21.  I understand how you feel, that you are sure you know it all, that “older” people tell you this because of your age as if they know everything but you’re more mature than they think…I know all of it.  I am only being honest and it’s coming from my experience.  If I could have only known at 21 what I know at 30…I’d have told myself to wait too.  

I honestly don’t think that anyone who is “older” than the 18-22 yr olds out there give this advice because of the reasons it feels like when you are that 18-22 yr old.  And i’m sure there are those relationships out there that last, I know a couple that is now 28 and they have been together since they were 15 in highschool.  They’re almost disgustingly still in love!  It can happen, I just think it’s safer and smarter to wait for marriage until you have a chance to see if you will grow together or apart.  Whatever you think is best for you, do it.  Just remember that people want what’s best for you, and I’m not saying this to be mean or to make you feel ‘young and stupid’.  I’m telling you this because I have been you right now.  I would never take back my child, but if it wasn’t for her, I would wish I could take back the rest of it.

Post # 42
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think you both need alittle more growing to do in your relationship before you consider marriage. What’s the rush??

Post # 43
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@swimchica:  I have to disagree….usually people who act like jerks ARE jerks….especially when it comes to something like this…..

My Fiance would never say in a fight that “maybe we should hold off on the enagagement then”…..this is not a move in life that 1 fight should change….

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