Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. Decemeber will be 5 years on the 23. Im loosing it with him on asking me to marry him. Its to the point in my head im like if he dont by Jan im done. We have a long history of things and Im just tired of waiting.
2 years ago we were talking about getting married and even had a date set, aug 25, 2012. He even told people. We have been pregnant twice, both unplanned one was a m/c and we now have a son. Funny though he will be 2 on Aug 25, 2012. 2 years ago he said he had a ring and he didnt give it to me. Now supposidly he has a new ring and have yet to see it. I had those “this could be the night” and nothing, nights he asks if we could go to dinner and we dont ever go.. In my head its getting to be bull. I feel like he is just feeding me lines just to keep me around.
He mentioned a few times about getting a house together, but I dont want to give up my own appartment with out a ring. He dont even talk about getting marrried, and I get lip every time I say someone that I know got engaged. He was totally pissed at me last night when I said that I dont want “god- Father” to use our son as there ring bear, he flipped out saying that I was childish and need to go up. I told him that I wanted OUR son to be OUR ring bear first. I want something to be special, cuz parctly everything else that we would do for our wedding everyone else had used.
I feel like he is just to comfortable and feels like he don’t have to, or the REAL fact is that thruthfully he don’t want to be with me.. What should I do?
Post # 3
I think if your son’s godfather wants your son to be his ringbearer, you should let him… I mean, what reason are you going to give the godfather that won’t make you sound… sorry to say but childish?
I understand your frustrations and how you want your Boyfriend or Best Friend to propose already… BUT truth is, you have a son with him so you are already committed for life, even more than if you were married; so you will need to figure this out with your Boyfriend or Best Friend.
Instead of holding out on your son being in other weddings and holding out on getting a place with your Fiance, sit down with him and have an open, calm conversation about how you feel about all this. It seems like you have resentment built up and are putting up a wall between you and him (i.e. I won’t give up my appartment to be with you cause you didn’t give me a ring). While I understand why you’re doing this and in your shoes I would probably act the same way for a while, I can see how this might not be the most efficient way to get him to want to ask you to marry him.
Post # 4
@mommytobee: I guess i should say the real reason I dont want my son to be in the ring bear, is I really dont care for the “god_father”. If it was my choice he wouldn’t be the godfather. He has always said how he doen’t like me, and that my Boyfriend or Best Friend should still be with his ex, or someone else. He has even stated getting my bf to talk to other girls shortly after my MC. I became very quite after that for a while, and he didnt understand… So after that I never cared for him.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you have to go through with this, but like @mommytobee said, regardless if you’re married, you’re connected to him by virtue of your son for a long time.
I think you should let your son be his Godfather’s ring bearer. It doesn’t make it less special if he’s been a ring bearer for someone else. If anything, he’ll feel more special that he gets to do it twice! You can’t look at your wedding as something like “everything would be used”, people aren’t a commodity, and there is no shortage of emotion.
As for waiting for him to propose, if you don’t feel that it’s going to happen soon, leave him, but on good terms so that your child isn’t too negatively effected. You both have every right to go out and find what makes you happy, and for you, if it isn’t him, you should try and figure that out before you begin to build up resentment, and you end uo fighting even more over him proposing. I’m glad you at least have your own apartment, and own space “just in case”.
Good luck. PM if you need anything else, or just someone to talk to!
Post # 6
Is your bf aware of the feelings you harbour towards the god-father? Sounds like this is a disaster in the waiting.
Post # 7
I think you should let him be the ringbearer. It sucks, but I think you’re blowing this just a tad out of proportion. Talk to your boyfriend about all these feelings, so you don’t blow up on him later.
Why don’t you propose to him? See how that goes? <– Not sarcastic. I’m serious.
Post # 8
It’s up to you whether your son is in a wedding, if you don’t like the guy you don’t like him… but you won’t look very good if you withhold your son because of it. Ultimately it’s up to you. Please don’t think your wedding will be less special to your son if he’s already been in a wedding before. They will be separate experiences and yours will naturally mean much much more to him.
I think it’s horrible your boyfriend keeps telling you he has a ring and not giving it to you. Maybe he’s just mislead and he thinks saying that will make you feel better? I’m just having trouble understanding how he can lie to you like that knowing how much it means to you. My advice would be to completely drop wedding talk for a certain number of months. He may just not want to propose because you’re pressuring him to. Take off the pressure and if he doesn’t propose by your (secret) time limit then tell him you want to date other people and take a break from him.
Post # 9
I told him that I wanted OUR son to be OUR ring bear first.
This statement makes me wonder if you’re using your son as leverage to get your bf to propose?
I say this because MOST of this post has to do with your bf not proposing, and then the question you’re asking “am I wrong” pertains to a small section about the godfather wanting to have your son as his ringbearer.
Could your bf not proposing be the reason you’re so against allowing your son to be ringbearer?