Post # 1
So a really close friend of mine has been pushing and pushing and basically threatening her boyfriend to marry her for a couple years now. FINALLY, he agreed and a wedding was on. She planned everything, had all us girls buy dresses, (which we all know are always ugly, but seriously, COMPLETELY tacky…like hawaiian themed sun dress tacky.) Anyway, one late night I get a drunken phone call from her that the wedding is off, he once again, decided he just didn’t want to marry her and felt she rushed him into it….oh yeah, and he might like someone else. She cried, begged, and pleaded him to stay…unfortunately, he did. But he still didn’t want to marry her. He said he wasn’t comfortable doing that and just wanted to keep things as they were for now. So what does she do, well what any reasonably insane woman would, she got pregnant to keep him! BLAH. Yeah, this is all true, no exagerating, no lies.
Anyway, now apparently he said he would think about marrying her but doesn’t want a big ceromony. Will only elope. And instead of the previous destination, which mind you, is where a different mutual friend already got married earlier this last year, and instead of the second destination,(it got changed because he didn’t want to travel very far) which would be in a snow blizzard state in hawaiian dresses…yeah…she decided it would be cool to get married at a destination she has never been to, or him for that matter, but has heard me say…MULTIPLE as in at least TEN or more times, how much I love this destination, will be moving there, getting married there, and finishing grad school there. It is the only destination I have talked about and she has never considered or been there. Now she won’t shut up and keeps contacting me to tell me how great it is going to be and how much and this and that….I just want to smack her. I would never do that to her…or anyone for that matter. Am I just being a baby, or do I have a legit reason to be mad here. I mean I understand I don’t own this destination, and tons of people choose to marry there but seriously…
I’ve confided in my sister, boyfriend and a couple co-workers about this. They all say she is being rude and rubbing this in my face…why they don’t know…but are they just saying this because they are my people or is this truth. just need a little feedback. Within time, I’ll get over this but I just want to hear some feedback on my feelings please. Thanks all!
Post # 3
Honestly, if I were you, I would just blow it off. The odds that this marriage will actually happen are low, and the odds that they’ll live “happily ever after” seem even lower. I say, who cares. And, is there a reason you’re still friends with her? I’m not sure I would want someone like that as a friend…
Post # 4
Sorry you are having to go through this. I think she is doing this because she wants to be like you. She is jealous that you are happy and just can’t stand it. I just wouldn’t say anything more to her about your plans and just nod and say mmmm or okay when she talks about hers. I don’t think that she will be happily married because her boyfriend/FI doesn’t really want to do this and “there is someone on the side”. I think she is and is going to continue to be very unhappy. She sounds desparate and may not even realize what she is doing.
Post # 5
Nope, you’re not wrong! I had a friend just like her. Key word HAD. People like that are TOXIC. They have no regard for anyones elses feelings or lives. Hence her getting pregnant (no regard for how it would alter her mans life), getting you ugly dresses (most likely to make her feel better about herself) stealing dw 1, and your dw, bc she’s either unoriginal and has to steal ideas bc she can’t think of anything good on her own OR she is just that plain evil and wants to steal your dream. I’m sorry, she may be your friend, but speaking from experiece you definitely want this type of person out of your life!
Post # 6
First off im sorry to hear someone you call your friend in being so rude and inconsiderate about your feelings, She seems like she has a lot of issues with herself and very insecure. These are people that you need to take two steps back from because all they will do is bring drama and the sad thing is half the time they dont even know it. That made my blood boil a little haha that would just tick me off! and you have every right to be upset. Just know YOUR day will be special and you did not have to practically push your bf to marry you. : )
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. I did tell my boyfriend and my sister that I wasn’t going to say anything more to her about this…I am not sure, but have a feeling she does just want to get under my skin, so I am going to just let it go. I will not let her know how bad this gets to me because that is probably just going to be the driving force for her to make this happen. And I also said to myself that the chances of this wedding actually happening are pretty low…and if they do they probably won’t end up very happy. ALSO, this is not the first time I’ve questioned my friendship with her. And told my bf that even though I’ve been keeping my distance from her, I’m feeling more secure with my decision to completely seperate from her.
But I do appreciate all the feedback….she contacted me SEVERAl times today about this so it was just really getting at me…and it helps me to get some outside perspective.
Post # 8
Sounds like she is a loser (sorry). There are some people you just need to let go of in life. Mostly because she is making a mess of her life (sorry again), secondly because she is not being a good friend to you. There are a million places to get married…or to plan a wedding that’s not happening…you have every right to be angry.
Post # 9
Sounds like you are in quite a pickle. I agree, don’t worry about it. If you say anything about that location being “your spot”, she’ll just turn and accuse you of being loopy for claiming a location.
You have two options really. Just keep your mouth shut and when she asks you to be there, you stand up in whatever ugly dress it is. Or, you sit her down and talk to her about how you really want her to be happy and that marrying this guy is not going to make her happy. Cite examples of women you know who are successful single mothers and try to steer her in the right direction. Who knows, she might actually hear you.
Either way, it’s a tough one. Good luck!