- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I am posting this to get any thoughts or advice you all might have about a situation that just occurred because I’m not sure how to proceed. And pardon my iPad mistakes, I don’t have a real keyboard and am not great with the touch screen. I normally write much better in real life.
I was friends with and lived with a girl from grad school. She is from India and had a boyfriend from there that lived in another state. In the last six months of living together, my Fiance also lived with us to cut costs. It was not a good idea, to say the least. A lot of upsetting things happened that upset Fiance and me. For instance, she asked if her Boyfriend or Best Friend could stay with us for a week. That week turned into two months, and our apartment was crowded with three people, much less four. Fiance and I had to pry information out of her about what was going on and remind her that decisions like that need to be made by everyone. She was also extremely messy, didn’t help clean common areas, or buy household supplies. There was more, but I wont get into that. Fiance and I are pretty passive and non-confrontational, and she took advantage of it. Anyway, the point was that by the end, things were strained. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, and I wanted to move on.
Recently, she sent a Facebook message to our mutual friend group to let us know that she was moving back to India. A few people responded, but not all. Fiance was burned by what happened months ago and chose to ignore it. I didn’t know what to say, if anything, because I still had hard feelings. I’m not a person to be disingenuous, so I chose not to respond. I also had a slew of personal issues ging on that were more important. She persisted by sending me a private message asking why I didnt say goodbye and what was wrong. I didn’t really want to get into everything on FB and neglected to respond again. Like i said, I was caught up in other things.
Today she sent another message to me, but deliberately on the friend group message thread. She basically put me on blast for not saying goodbye or responding. She called out my maturity level as well. For all of our friends to witness.
I’m sure some might think that I should have just said goodbye, good luck, something short and sweet of that nature. I had a really difficult time with doing that after what happened, plus, she gave us all maybe a couple of days notice that she is leaving after not speaking to or seeing any of us in months. Why should I suddenly care? Her previous actions didn’t show that she cared about my feelings.
I just don’t know what to do or not do about the last message. It’s embarrassing that she would call me out like that. Some of our friends know why I am not speaking with her, but not all, so it makes me look like the bad guy. Which she is good at doing, incidentally. Fiance didn’t respond, and he wasn’t called out. Why me?
What would you do? Am I wrong here?