(Closed) Am I wrong for thinking this is rude of her?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 31
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


MissSweetiepie:  Like PPs said I think if you want it to the situation can still be saved by sending a card or a gift if you want to. In her shoes, I would have been tempted to call out someone in our bridal party showing up without even a card too, quite honestly but I’d also understand them not being financially able to get a gift so a card would be fine with a thank you for the wedding. All good. Live and learn. 🙂

Post # 32
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think the text was rude and I would not answer. However I also think it’s rude to go to a wedding and not give a gift. I believe in covering the cost of my plate, but even just a small gift is appropriate.

Post # 33
1506 posts
Bumble bee

MissSweetiepie:  But they had you marked down as “attending” and would have used those numbers to calculate how much food to make. I don’t care if it was made by the family of the couple- someone had to pay for it at some point. I think it was super rude of you to even attend the wedding- the attitude that “it was such a favour, they should be happy you came at all” etc. is bull. If you really weren’t friends with these people, your SO would NOT have agreed to be in the bridal party, and you would NOT have attended. Really, it takes five minutes to pop into a dollar store and buy a card and write something nice in it.

Post # 35
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

MissSweetiepie:  If you were struggling financially, aren’t close to the couple and couldn’t afford to be involved in the wedding then tick the decline box.  I just don’t understand why your husband would agree to be a part of the wedding party in the first place. I would be FURIOUS if my FI’s groomsmen left early to celebrate his birthday (I would understand if he declined to be a part of the wedding party due to this reason though) 

The girl probably has a post here “OMG my new husband asked his childhood friend to be a groosmen and he agreed and then bitched about hiring the suit, bailed early and didn’t even give a card!”

Also, if you do send a card now, don’t act like you left it at home. That’s what I used to do with my homework when I was in primary school.  Just say you didn’t bring it to the wedding but it’s in the mail.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  nessdawwg.
Post # 36
1506 posts
Bumble bee

Oh, I also noticed you posted two days ago that you are planning on buying a new centre stone for your engagement ring. So, sorry, I don’t buy the whole “we are so financially strapped” that we can’t spend $20 on a small gift and a card, but we can go out for dinner the same night, and be buying a moissanite.

Post # 40
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I actually had to do this same thing. A few days after our wedding when I was inputting who got what for thank you notes I noticed our best guy friend didn’t even get us a card which I knew was totally not like him as well as my husbands best friend, same thing. 

So I had to do the unpleasant task of asking if they had gotten us something or not and turns out, they had and left it at the hall but it never made it home with us. Turns out 4 other people same thing (after I started following up with the other no gifts). 2 couples genuinely did not get us anything but 4 people did and turns out the waitstaff moved some gifts to the back room for the late night buffet and we never grabbed them when we left so they where still in the back room at the hall!

Had I not asked that question I don’t know how long it would have been until those 4 presents turned up or I didn’t thank those people for gifts that maybe never would have made it to us!

Point is, its not horrible to ask as I had to and I really didn’t care either way I just wanted to ensure if there was some it made it to us and 2 odd ones turned into 4!

Post # 41
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

MissSweetiepie:  Write her back and tell them you gave them a card with $300.00 in it. 

Post # 44
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I have no problem with guests showing up to a wedding empty handed. Assuming the people who are there care for me and want to join in my celebrations idgaf what they bring or don’t bring.  

But…you don’t even like the girl. That’s insulting enough. 

There was no real nice roundabout way for her to ask that. What if you did get them a gift, it did get stolen, and your thread was instead about how rude she is for not sending a proper thank you card? Then…she’s the bad guy again. Lose-lose for the bride. 

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