(Closed) Am I wrong for thinking this is rude of her?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 76
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Post # 77
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013


NuggetJones:  This was my thought exactly!

OP: There were 3 weddings, 2 that we went to, and 1 we couldn’t make, and NONE of them sent thank you cards for the $100 we gave to each of the couples. I thought it was VERY rude. At our wedding, one of our ushers, and a good friend of mine did not get us a card or gift. Instead of asking where it was, I just made sure to send them a thank you card for coming to celebrate with us. I know the usher is tight on money, and the other friend is foreign and probably didn’t know any better. So, yes, it was rude of her to ask you, but I think it was even more rude of you if you didn’t send any thank you cards out after your wedding. I’d like to bet that your guests felt very unappreciated.

I’m very surprised that you keep saying you don’t know wedding etiquitte, but yet you’re married! Didn’t you look into this before your own wedding? Or are you too concerned about you to think about that kind of stuff? Also, maybe the bride is just introverted and comes across as not nice. Some people just don’t do well socially around people they don’t really know. Have you tried being the bigger person and taken the initiative to get to know her? Maybe she thinks you’re mean because you don’t want to give her the time of day when you’re around her and she’s afraid of you.

Post # 78
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You’re both rude.

I couldn’t imagine showing up at someone’s wedding without so much as a card. I’d stop worrying so much about her unfortunate text and more time figuring out how to be a gracious guest in the future.

Post # 79
483 posts
Helper bee

MissSweetiepie:  hahahahah! I can’t believe she sent that text to you!!! Yes, it was very rude of her.

On the other hand, it was rude of you and your husband to not give them anything at all. Especially considering that he was a groomsman. So….call it even?

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  .
Post # 80
857 posts
Busy bee

How would they know if anything was stolen if they dont know what they got. Haha this is totalyl trying to find out if you got her anything. . I agree with the above though. Regardless if you are close or not, you should have gotten them a gift. If it was a gift card in the card or a registry. YOu showing up with nothing, is really disrespectful. 

Post # 81
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think two wrongs don’t make a right in this case. You should have at LEAST brought a card. Even though she is rude/snobby she set aside a seat and food for you and your husband. It makes you seem like you could give to shits. just saying. If its true her story or not, she should of just sent the thank you without needing to know the gift part.

Post # 82
1061 posts
Bumble bee

I definitely agree with other PPs that there were missteps on both sides.  But it seems odd to me that you profess that you haven’t attended many weddings and are not well-versed in wedding etiquette, yet you’re married and have over 900 posts on WB.  I would have thought that you had seen one or two such threads.  

Post # 83
12315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Just to modify what I said a bit, it would obvioulsy have been appropriate for the groom to write a thank you note to his friend for being in the wedding.  Otherwise, thank you notes are for gifts, not attendance. 

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