(Closed) Am I wrong?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I allow a subsitute?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    13 %
    No : (41 votes)
    87 %
  • Post # 3
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Was the invite specifically labeled for her and her husband?  If so, then I don’t think it’s wrong.  You can explain to her that there were other people that weren’t invited, etc.

    If it was her +guest, and you intended her husband, than it’s pretty wrong to not allow her to bring someone other than her hubby. 

    I personally would allow somone to bring a replacement only because I want my guests to feel comfortable.

    Post # 5
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If you addressed it to them (not Mrs. Smith & Guest), plus she knows other people who are going to be there, I would have said no too.

    Post # 6
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I would have said no too, especially since she knows a lot of people there.  Even if she didn’t, most adults are capable of making friends for a few hours… 🙂

    Post # 7
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    You made the right choice.   The open slot can allow for additional guests that YOU want to attend, not just a random person.  I am sure once the cocktails flow and food is served, she will instantly make convo with other guests.

    Post # 8
    5095 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I was surprised to have this issue too – a friend asked if she could bring her mom instead of her husband. I asked advice here, and most Bees seemed to think I should allow it. I eventually told her yes, a little grudgingly (on the inside!), since at least I do know her mother.  Ultimately, neither of them ended up being able to come, so it was a moot point.

    Post # 9
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    No way should you have to feel like including a substitute..a husband is one thing..a random substitute is another. Stick to your original feelings, be strong, good luck

    Post # 11
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    No.  I think it’s completely fine not to allow substitutes unless the situation were very unique.  I have one friend who is being invited with her husband.  However, her husband will likely be in Afghanistan by the time the wedding comes, she’s coming from out of town and doesn’t know many people who will be at the wedding.  Even though we aren’t allowing random +1s, for her, it’ll be hard enough being without her husband so I told her she’s welcome to bring someone else instead.

    BUT if it’s just a matter of the husband not wanting to go, then a substitute shouldn’t be allowed.

    Post # 12
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Is she bringing someone you would have otherwise invited?  A friend of mine – her husband could not attend a wedding we were just at – so she brought another friend of ours who was originally on the b list.  The bride wanted the other girl invited but she was cut because of numbers, so our married friend brought her as her plus one.

    Post # 13
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    you are right!

    who’s to say you didn’t leave off someone near and dear to your heart from your invite list to invite her husband?

    people slay me sometimes, geez!


    don’t even sweat it, you are totally right

    The topic ‘Am I wrong?’ is closed to new replies.

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