- 6 years ago
@southernbelle381: Oh we are both aware of how expensive babies and kids are… I didn’t mention it in this thread, but I’ve mentioned it in previous threads… I actually have an 8 year old daughter from a previous marriage who lives with us full time. Yes combining our finances would put us in a better situation, but I didn’t mean for it to sound like money was a daily issue. I make 6 figures and he makes double what I make.
No, neither of us are self employed. He wasn’t concerned what happened to his parents would happen to us at all. He said when his Dad got sick he knew they didn’t have much if any savings and that they were over extended already (multi properties, cars, boats, etc). He said he was concerned spending a huge amount on a ring not knowing if and when they would need financial help and how much. They did end up needing help, and when we (and his sister and her husband) had a long discussion with them we determined that 50k is what was needed to really fix their problems and we made a budget that would involve his dad making $0 to help keep them on track. He wrote the check for 50k and I don’t believe it wiped out his savings. I think he was saving as much as possible and not making HUGE purchases knowing they would need help, but not how much they would need. During our conversation he didn’t make it clear if he felt he needed to save up 30k more for a ring, or if that is what had delayed his purchases initially (the not knowing if they would need 10k, 50k, 100k, etc). Either way, I’ve told him I don’t want or expect a 30k ring and that the 2 month’s salary thing is stupid! Family is so important to both of us, and I love him even more for thinking about his parents and preparing to help them long before they asked. I don’t think he has any financial worries from a day to day stand point, he was only concerned with making a huge purchase while his parents were struggling. Him deciding he is ready to have a baby was not a financially irresponsible move by any means.
Now that I’m talking about this with you all, I have a feeling my original suspensions were right… he has decided he is ready to be married and have a baby. He is ready to just get on with things and he is assuming if I were to get pregnant we could have a quicky court house wedding.