(Closed) Am I wrong for feeling this way?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds like your Fiance has got his head on straight and was not poorly influenced by his friend to the point where he did hard drugs and landed in jail.  Sounds like its pretty safe to “allow” a friendship to continue.  You’re entitled to your feelings about this friend, but I dont think you should be the one to force your Fiance to cut him out of his life.  Your Fiance knows right from wrong, and if he never fell into it before, he probably wont now.  And if he does not think the friend fits into his lifesytle mature lifestyle anymore, the closeness may fizzle anyhow and wont be more than a casual get together to catch up.

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can see both sides of this one… on one hand, if he’s coming out of jail and has any intention of turning his life around, he’s going to need some friends that are on the straight and narrow, rather than other drug addicted/ex “criminals” or whatever.  On the other, why should it have to be YOUR fiance. 

I’m leaning toward staying out of it and letting things take their course.  I’m sure your fiance has the good judgement to let this relationship fizzle if it proves to be toxic.

Post # 5
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I completely understand your feelings about this guy–I wouldn’t want the guy in my house or life either! This guy clearly hasn’t given you (or anyone else!) any reasons to trust him. However, your Fiance has. He’s turned his life around and is making different choices now. It’ll be pretty easy for  your fiance to see that his childhood friend doesn’t fit into his life the same way anymore. He may even have some of the same concerns about influence that you do. I encourage you to talk with your Fiance openly and honestly about your concerns (just be sure it doesn’t appear like you are attacking his friend). I’d be pretty hesitant to demand that my Fiance cut ties with anyone simply because it could very easily lead to resentment and bitterness on his part. Neither of those fosters a healthy relationship.

Post # 6
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@SapphireSun: <– What she said.

You not wrong for having reservations though. Any reasonable person would, but trust that your fiance is going to do the right thing.

Post # 7
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I understand why this would upset you but he is an adult and can choose his own friends. If he really has changed it wont effect your relationship.

Post # 7
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I understand why this would upset you but he is an adult and can choose his own friends. If he really has changed it wont effect your relationship.

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